Simply not credible


It’s not often that this blog rants off at the same rapscallion in two consecutive posts but events lead me to make an exception in this case.
He’s at it again, which seems to be a phrase I find myself writing on an alarmingly regular basis.

The Viceroy of Joy, the jelly-spined face of Scotland’s government by another country, fresh from an early cloak-fitting session at Deidstoat Brothers in Bond Street, has just broken the brass-neck-ometer. In fact he’s shattered it in to a thousand pieces, with each small shard landing on the ground almost in unison to form the perfect shape of the words ‘Numpty Alert, Not Credible’.
The SNP, the democratically elected majority Scottish representatives in the London based seat of power, put forward an amendment in parliament yesterday which specifically sought to exclude any possibility of the UK crashing out of the largest free trading bloc on the planet with No-Deal ‘under any circumstances’.

When voting took place on this amendment the Secretary of State Against Scotland and his ProudScot red, white and blue privilege-chasing colleagues with North British accents on the Tory benches, voted en-masse against this motion, helping to defeat it 324 votes to 288.
Afterwards, whilst being interviewed for the telly, David Mundell, came over all awkward, coy and twitchy (he might have even blinked) when asked why he voted against the SNP’s motion to rule out a No-Deal.

Apparently, and this is a belter, our quasi-potentate voted against ruling out a disastrous No-Deal because he doesn’t want a No-Deal.  Are you following this so far?

Also, and this is one takes the whole packet of digestive biscuits, it’s his firmly held belief (if anything about him could be considered firm, definitely no’ his spinal column, that’s for sure) that the SNP are double-super-secretly pushing a No-Deal agenda.

In his opinion those nasty outward looking progressives, whose policies represent the 62% democratically majority-decided remain in the EU instruction given to them by the people of Scotland, desperately want a No-Deal…… Which is why they all voted for the amendment that they themselves put forward to rule out a No Deal.
Work that one out somebody, I cant. It is beyond rational thought.
A link for this rambling nonsense may follow here…
if the link works.
I’ve said it before, history will not look upon this fellow kindly.


The Viceroy of Joy


It was always a stick on, a cert, a sure thing, you could have bet the wean’s inheritance and yer Granda’s top set on it. We’ve all predicted it, most of us for a considerable time now, and as sure as day follows night it has happened. After the EU getting the blame for Britain’s staggering incompetence as they squirm and agonize as they untangle themselves from the largest free trading market on the planet, we were always going to be next, us vile separatists who want to be outward looking and European.

No prizes for guessing who the deliverer of this profound nonsense was to be, yes you’ve got it, the Viceroy of Joy himself, the coveter of a stoat’s winter jaiket dyed riid for riid neck, the government of Scotland from another county’s man in Scotland, the chep with the spine of the lesser spotted siphunculus, which I see defined on “wiki change it to whatever ye like” as meaning  ‘a small tube’ ( well if the shoe fits) David Mundell (which used tae be pronounced like bundle but ye cannae be called bundle in the House of Lords, Bungle mibbees, but no’ bundle).
Aye, according to the shifty wee man whose pronouncements about how he views politics as they currently exist in the circus which is pre-Brexit Britain, mirror almost exactly what Theresa May said five minutes previously, and are equally therefore as flip floppy in content as the disco dancing diva of Downing Street’s robotic drivel, the party of devolved limited powers, and soon to be more limited, in Scotland, the one with the majority of MP’s democratically elected to Westminster to represent Scottish constituencies, is going to cause a disastrous no –deal exit from the EU. It’s nothing to do with the Tories being infested with useless right –wing and far right-wing brainless and entitled third and fourth generation inheritors of daddy’s money morons whose idea of negotiating with somebody is to tell them what to do in a loud voice in case they don’t understand English. Naw, it’s not their fault. It’s ours.
We’ve tae swing wholly and firmly behind Theresa May’s rank rotten Withdrawal Agreement, and he’s written tae SNP Westminster leader Ian Blackford, who is still laughing, to tell him so. This after his stoic leader once again pulled a ‘meaningful vote’ on Brexit, whatever that actually is. Yet further delay to allow her supposedly to continue to negotiate with EU commissioners who are openly saying that Britain is pretending to negotiate something that is already agreed and will not be changed. She’s kicked the can further up the road to around March 12. At this rate Westminster parliamentarians may find themselves voting on arrangements for leaving the EU after they’ve actually left the EU.

If I was the owner of a business in the UK right now which does a fair bit of trade with the countries of Europe I think the squeeky bum element to my planning for the future would be audible. Imagine self-harming your own economy to the extent where a withering recession is almost inevitable, all in the name of keeping rebelling factions of your political party happy. These nutters are playing with people’s live, and the tragedy is they are good at nothing.
History will not be kind to you Davie. I hope the seat on the red benches that you ae holding out for is worth it. It remains to be seen if they’ll let you keep it once Scotland is self-governing. You’ll have outstayed yer welcome.

It is in your hands


Around two year ago we were starting to rumble. The grassroots groups of the movement for self-government for Scotland were beginning to mobilise. It’s on, we thought, it’s on. It was time to take our case to our family, friends and colleagues once more.

The announcement at the time from First Minister Nicola Sturgeon that she would be requesting permission, via a section 30 order of the 1998 Scotland Act, to hold a second referendum on Scottish independence, aiming to be timed to allow the people of Scotland the ability to have full knowledge of the facts, when they emerged, with regards to UK and EU Brexit negotiations, and the implications for Scotland, prior to putting their minds to the question of sovereignty, almost started the Indy 2 campaign rolling.

An honourable move by First Minister Nicola Sturgeon aimed at saving the people of Scotland, and our EU resident friends who live in Scotland and work and contribute to Scottish life, from an economic and social train wreck.

This, as we all know, was stymied by a knock back from London (who ever heard of a partnership of equals where one of the partners has to seek the other’s permission to do something?) a snap General Election with good and bad unintended and unexpected consequences for the hapless Prime Minister of Britain, and the shameful co-operative actions of the branches of the British parties of unionism in Scotland contriving the electoral demise of a number of representatives of the party of self-government on a binary one issue manifesto. However, thankfully not to the extent where the mandate the party of limited devolved government has for implementing change was in danger, a situation which is still the case.

Folks we are nearing that time again, and this time we will not be seeking permission. We won’t be asking Westminster, we’ll be informing them that we are seeking the views of our fellow Scots about their future.

Brexit is a shambles. It has been so since day one, whether you look at it from a British state viewpoint or otherwise. Both the British government and their gutless, and now splitting, official opposition are clueless about any sort of intended or expected outcomes. Even now as we are about a month away from the UK leaving the European Union when representatives of these entities speak publicly on the subject you still get the feeling that every word uttered has been laundered through a focus group several times before seeing the light of day to ensure that the language used is bland and opaque enough to continue to keep the many as bewildered as these elected officials are.

Whitehall has hidden the facts and consequences, the potential catastrophe of Brexit, much of the complications of which they don’t really understand, from the public now for more than two and a half years.

You are left in a situation where the leader of the UK government is playing a game running down the clock until the witching hour in the hope of frightening parliamentarians into getting behind a deal which will have terrible consequences for the economy of the UK and may well tilt Scotland into a recession, as opposed to a No deal which will be even worse.

Sometime very soon the truth about how the future outside the EU in a deluded inward looking protectionist Britain will be for the people of Scotland will emerge, it is inevitable, and when it does Nicola Sturgeon will have only one decision to make. She won’t have a choice. Our case will be clear. We need to be ready, particularly if the date she sets turns out to have a short lead up time. Oh, and helping us by sorting the currency question out would be a good thing First Minister.

The SNP, Scottish Greens and SSP are not going to win this referendum. You are, the hundreds of thousands of advocates for Yes, stall workers, organisers, canvassers, bloggers, speakers at events, positive models of behaviour, being respectful, displaying empathy, listening to concerns, communicating factual information about what independence actually means, setting out what an independent Scotland will look like, painting the picture, in ways that our not-yet-persuaded folk can relate to in real life, not abstract theory, real life. You are the key.

The tired cliches of Project Fear should trouble us no more.  The disrespect, the marginalisation, the deliberate media portrayal of around 50% of Scots, us, (soon to be more when we get at them)as somehow a cult, that it’s the SNP’s referendum, that it’s all Nicola Sturgeon’s idea, all of that nonsense will mean not a jot, this time. We’ve heard it. They said all of that the last time. They didn’t deliver on promises to pliable voters, and now they’ve really got themselves in a world of economic disaster, a nightmare of their own making. A future full of doubt is the future of NO.

What about the ProudScotButs and the dyed in the wool red, white and blues? We should step away from them. Let them howl at the moon. We will spend our time confidently, respectfully and positively targeting our peers with clear factual information setting out the story of hope, inclusion and opportunity that self- government brings.

Let the official Yes Scotland, or whatever they’ll be called, when Elaine C Smith tells us more, set up a professional rebuttal unit to counter on a timely daily basis the British nationalist media propaganda. There are plenty of reliable well-respected experts they can call on for factual responses to scaremongering nonsense. Let them handle that. Us on the ground, we’ll concentrate on the people we need to convince, our fellow Scots.

We’ll be tested, oh will we be tested. We’ll be tested even more than last time because this time they think they can lose. That thought never occurred to them until the final two weeks of the campaign the last time. We’ll be watched like hawks by every media source west of the Pas de Calais, desperately trying to highlight any eejit that abuses or threatens or says anything that can remotely be construed as menacing about someone in the No campaign, particularly celebrity trolls.

We’ll get called all sorts of horrible names, we’ll get accused of racism by racists, narrow nationalism by narrow minded nationalists and of being vile divisive separatists by folk who think the French, Spanish and Germans stole their last Rollo.

There is an easy fix for all of that, We’ll do them in with kindness. We’ll smother the hatred as a nonsense by demonstrating exactly the kind of people we are, not the people they are trying to convince others that we are. They’ll talk about us creating a bitter divide amongst Scots. Let them concentrate on that stuff, that’s what their good at. We’ll  concentrate on the opposite, what we are good at, positivity, inclusiveness, making friends, narrowing the divide. We’ll make their false assertions look farcical, and we’ll win.

We’ve all got to work with each other. We’re a wide movement. We can hammer out and respect any significant political differences in the returned independent Scottish parliament when the hangovers are gone and the flag waving is done, when we are building our Scotland.

Until then we’ve got to get ready, get organised. There is a job to do, the biggest task most of us will ever get involved in, and although many of us have been champing at the bit now for some time it might be coming quicker than you think.

There is no margin for error. We must win this time.

Ten minutes of your time


Now, if you are someone whose viewpoint is straight down the line Rule Britannia please read no further. The following is not geared towards you, because there will never be any circumstances that will change your opinion. The British state can do anything to you and you will accept it, taking the view that you trust what they are doing is for the best for your country, which for you, first and foremost, is Britain. Fair enough, that’s your view. You are perfectly entitled to it.

Otherwise, ladies and gentlemen of Scotland who voted No in the referendum of September 2014, now that we are less than forty days away from your country being removed from the European Union against the democratic will of the majority of Scots, please I beg your indulgence for just a few minutes.

First up, a bit of context, an example or two, of which there are many, of the kind of behaviour demonstrated by those who have control over the major decisions made for and about your country. Decisions made in your name, and for your family. Decisions made by the British State.

40 odd years ago vast reserves of a precious natural resource were discovered in the waters around your country, as were similarly found in the waters of your neighbouring country  Norway.

Norway, taking the sensible approach decided to benefit their citizens by creating an ‘oil fund” from the tax receipts of this find, which they used to create an extensive welfare and health system, with a standard of living envied by other countries. Essentially Norway uses that money to improve the lives of its people and keeps some of it aside for a rainy day. When things are tight, when the world has an economic slump, they have a bit put by to protect themselves from the ravages of blights on society like unemployment, poverty and homelessness.

So what happened in Scotland’s case? Well, first of all when surveys had established how much oil potentially was actually in Scotland’s waters the Westminster government rubbed their hands, but then they panicked that the people of Scotland would find out that they were sitting on a lottery win and may wish to therefore return the governance of their own country to themselves as a consequence. The cabinet of the British government then made a conscious decision to hide the extent of the oil reserves in Scotland’s water from the people of Scotland, a deception which continued for 30 odd years. If you think this statement is fabricated google ‘The McCrone Report.” Professor Gavin McCrone was a highly respected UK government economist who wrote a paper about the consequences of Scotland’s extensive reserves of oil . He deduced in his paper that if the people of Scotland had access to the financial benefits of their own natural resource Scotland would be one of the richest countries in the world. His paper was buried as confidential for many years. Look it up. Please do. Also look up the comments on the discovery of oil in Scotland’s waters by former Westminster Chancellor of the Exchequer Denis Healey, who came clean on the subject in his later years before his passing in 2015.

So what did the government of the UK do with all of the money from the tax receipts from the oil found in Scotland’s waters? The vast amount of revenue gained from tax receipts from oil found in Scotland’s waters was spent financing Margaret Thatcher and her successors golden age of Britain. It built the M25, Canary Wharf, the Channel Tunnel, it financed weapons of mass destruction, it provided the financing that bailed out high risk failures in the City, the banking industry, it financed the additional burdens on the welfare state, that Britain’s governments increasingly over the last forty years would rather just went away, resulting from de-industrialisation, the rapid decline in manufacturing, and the subsequent mass unemployment of Britain’s workforce.

In terms of deception the British State union backed media, (let’s not beat about the bush here, the BBC is an arm of the British State, it is not impartial) is not providing you with a fair reflection of events, it’s telling you what you need to hear from the perspective of protecting its patron. If you don’t believe that go and look up how the BBC World Service is funded. It was originally funded directly by the Foreign Office up until four or five years ago, now it’s spun as some sort of grant aid thing to muddy the waters a bit.

The BBC will tell you that according to reports like the annually produced GERS Report Scotland is poor and couldn’t possibly survive financially on its own. Now please bear in mind that this report, the report they refer to as evidence of Scotland’s inability to manage its own affairs, as well as providing information on the spending and financial management of the Scottish devolved limited powers government, who have control of less than 20% of the financial levers needed to have some semblance of control of Scotland’s economy, and do a pretty good job by anybody’s standards within those tight limitations, also provides information on London’s spending and debts accrued by that government in London, for example money spent on nuclear weapons stored in Scotland, away from English population centres, which they then divide up and allocate as Scotland’s debt. Money spent on our behalf, for their benefit, not ours. Effectively Scotland doesn’t make the decisions, or have input or influence on the decisions which result in an allocated millstone around our neck of a huge historic debt created for us. In reality the language used in the GERS Report should more accurately describe this annually calculated sum as the UK Government’s debt in Scotland.

Then we have the unionist media’s perpetual game of Oil Hoaky Coaky, which generally takes two particular forms.

Form one occurs when the world price of oil price drops, always for a reason completely out-with the control of Scotland, generally because two or more major oil powers somewhere around the world, the middle east, USA or Russia are sanctioning or embargoing each other over something or other. For weeks and months on end the editors who dictate what eventually will come out of Jackie Bird and her like’s mouths each evening at teatime and the political editorial staff of the Herald, Scotsman, Record, et al would have us believe that there is a second ice age about to hit Scotland, they feed us with a diet of the ‘separatists’ the ‘nationalists’ are obsessed with oil (we aren’t). Self-government for Scotland is about oil and about oil only is the message you  are supposed to receive from the reporting. Oil is worthless, they say, it’s a burden best left in the hands of those in London who know better. A recent example of this propaganda spin can be seen in BBC’s Question Time show from Motherwell, in a programme where the audiences are rigged to make it look like remaining part of the union is overwhelmingly the view of the majority of Scots, when a bloke from an extremist and religiously bigoted organisation, who appears to have a season audience pass for the show, enthralled us with “ You told us oil was going to be a million pound a barrel (eh?), now you can get a barrel for a tenner doon the barras.” Guffaw guffaw!

Then we have form two which occurs when the price of oil goes up, or we are in sight of any kind of election time. Suddenly like snow off a dyke the oil disappears. It’s as if the vast amount of this rich resource around Scotland, that we still hear about being discovered through new exploration sites in different areas of the Scotland’s waters on a regular basis, knows that the price has gone up so for some reason it decides to hide. The media headlines are awash with ‘it’s running out, experts give it five years, twenty years at the most, oil industry slump, Sir Ian Establishment-Billionaire who owns half of Scotland, and the fishing, predicts oil scarcity disaster.” It doesn’t add up, or make any sense.

Oil is not the be all and end all of Scotland’s right to self-determination,. In fact it’s a red herring. It has nothing to do with it. Scotland’s people have the right, like any other country in the world, to expect the perfectly normal proposition that their country is governed by people who live there. Union, as it exists in the UK is not normal. It is a contrived relationship which allows one larger country England to legally subsume its neighbours.  

However in terms of British state propaganda telling you that your country is too wee and too poor to govern itself it’s worth noting that until the last major oil price slump the tax revenue from the oil in Scotland’s waters contributed per head of population each year for several decades to the Exchequer in London far in excess of the monies returned to Scotland to pay for essential public services by way of the block grants Westminster decides Scotland should have, our pocket money. Living in Scotland you have helped keep the rest of the UK’s finances afloat for decades. Yet as long as you believe what the newspapers, and the telly channels, who are all owned by establishment backing figures or individuals or organisations who stand to lose out if Scotland becomes independent tell you, that Scotland is the only country in the world who couldn’t possibly govern itself, we are unlikely to flourish.

Please, take a step back, have a think about all of that. Do your own research. It’s not conspiracy, it’s not fake news from the internet. Be informed. There is plenty of corroborative information out there.

So that’s a wee insight into the kind of people you are dealing with, an elite who are not interested in your views, and only see Scotland as something they can milk and take advantage of.

Coming on to the current predicament facing Scotland. You, as a country, voted overwhelmingly to remain in the European Union by 62% to 38% , England and Wales voted to leave. Therefore it would be reasonable to assume that democratically the people of Scotland should have a say in whether they should remain as part of a trading bloc of 500 million potential customers for Scotland’s goods and services, yes? No. As is clear as it can possibly be Theresa May’s UK government has ignored any and all attempts for this to happen. The Scottish First Minister, after much consultation with European partners and experts in the field, produced a document way back outlining ways in which firstly the UK itself could escape the ravages of a “hard” Brexit, and secondly, if the UK didn’t want to do that, proposals to protect Scotland’s place in Europe, which, after all, Scotland’s people have voted resoundingly for. Copies of that document have probably been servicing the Downing Street lavvies for the last year or so. Scotland stands to lose up to 80,000 jobs as a direct consequence of a ‘hard’ Brexit. Already as we approach the cliff edge major corporation are changing headquarters from the UK to Europe. Foreign car manufacturing companies being just the latest to announce they are shutting their doors in the UK and relocating. it’s only going to get worse.

Perhaps when you voted No in 2014 one of your considerations was the unionist statement that unless you voted No Scotland would be flung out of the EU into an economic wilderness, a financial disaster. Unfortunately, and tragically ironically we are about to find out that exactly the opposite is the case, with the same disastrous outcome. Think about it.

Brexit is all about the Tory Party, and the gutless Labour Party unwilling to challenge preconceptions about immigration. The British government, stuck in a longstanding internal squabble between right wing factions, would rather sacrifice the economy of all parties to the union than agree to EU citizens continuing to move and work freely in the UK. Scotland, with an increasingly ageing population, relies heavily on EU citizens coming to live, work and pay taxes in Scotland to help pay for its public services. It has been estimated that Scotland needs at least 25,000 immigrants a year to settle and work just to remain economically stable. No matter what the Daily Mail and others tell you, the net financial gain to Scotland’s future wellbeing from the taxation and spending of immigrants who live and work in Scotland, as well as the cultural benefits we receive to our communities, far exceed any of the xenophobic simplistic nonsense that the haters continually feed us.

If all of this stuff doesn’t bother you, if you are somebody who says “ I don’t do politics” please try to think a bit deeper, and a bit longer term. All of this is actually about you, to benefit you and your standard of living, to protect and improve your family’s health and wellbeing, to create opportunities for your children, and their children for a better life.

Alternatively if you are somebody who says “ Why bother, they are all just the same, they are only in it for themselves” I think you are wrong.

You could be living in a country right now where an Independent Labour Party with real Labour values, not the current plastic Tories of Westminster and Holyrood , are vying with the Greens, the Scottish Socialists, the SNP and whatever the Tories would become in an independent Scotland, for your vote. These political parties would be answerable to you, putting forward policies that benefit you, your families, and future generations of Scots, not London and the home counties.

You wouldn’t live in a country where its government, bizarrely when you think about it from another country, knows you don’t vote for them. A government, which is always the case in the present system, which has no need to ever keep any promises to you, or even consider you because arithmetically you literally don’t count. You are a non-entity.

If you’ve got this far sincere thanks very much for taking the time to read this. Folks, you’ve just got to do something about this. It can’t go on the way it is. Future generations of Scots will suffer, and suffer badly if you don’t. Scotland will only prosper as an independent country, where those you place in charge of government are answerable to you.

Come join us.

The Maleficent Seven


Oh dear. British politics has taken yet another dull yin right atween the een. A wee shame. Never mind eh. I’m just waiting for the Hootsmon or the Herald’s headline “Shock as Labour split.Surely Nicola Sturgeon must now take independence off the agenda.”
In truth no one in Scotland who has been paying the slightest attention, for at least the last thirty years, to the politics of our country, and how events at Westminster have impacted that, will register even a flicker of surprise at the fankle the Maleficent Seven of the (New/ Old/ fledgling/ socialist/ anti-socialist/Once spoke to a member of the Militant tendency/ I used to support becoming a republic until I was reminded about how good the honours list was for my bank balance/ I never liked Ken Livingstone/time to modernise/ New again/ Cannae spell the words Keir Hardie correctly on their conference display board/Newish but old socialism messiah who is as charismatic as a mug of cold instant cup a soup) Labour Party have caused for one half of British unionism’s establishment, on the pretext of Brexit and prejudice.
Hell mend them. At least with the Tories it’s clear what they are, and they don’t hide it. Labour on the other hand are a disgrace to everything their founders ever hoped they would become. Their values are diluted to the point where corruption, their Blairite past, and their directionless lack of identity present, has created a husk of a movement which has given up on all that progression for the many in society could have been, in the name of personal gain, titles, privilege and greed.
I notice, reading the BBC State broadcaster report on the split, that they’ve sought the reaction on these startling events from what they loosely describe as the “other parties”.  These consisted of the Liberal Democrats, the Tories and, predictably, Nigel Farage. Clearly the second largest political party with representatives at Westminster in terms of membership numbers, from Scotland, as in all things ‘precious’ to this farcical union, do not matter. A bit ironic really, seeing as many of the members of that second largest party, from Scotland, used to vote Labour. We await further converts.
The British state is in turmoil folks, and it’s going to get decidedly worse. Now is the time. Our leaders must act and name the date.  Let London try to deploy Project Fear at Europe, Ireland and us, all at the one time, amidst shortages, huge traffic queues at ports, as the impacts of their self-inflicted economic vandalism start to bite. Let us make our case to our friends, our neighbours, our colleagues, those who were not fully convinced in 2014, let’s do it now, and let’s do it right, and not even Captain Mainwaring and a platoon of pensioners armed with pitchforks will stop us returning to ourselves what is rightfully ours, a progressive outward looking sovereign self-governing Scotland.

A bunch of chancers


You really have to question exactly what it is the British Conservative and Unionist Party’s representatives in Scotland are actually for other than to undermine the right of Scotland’s people to make decisions for themselves and those who advocate that entirely normal and sensible postulation.

We’re weeks away from their lords and masters in London destroying a relationship with the planet’s biggest free trading bloc, creating mayhem, an act of economic and cultural vandalism beyond the understanding of those who instigated it, financial self-immolation on a scale never seen before, all because of an internal party power struggle between various factions of self-entitled right wing politics trying to establish which side’s nanny had the biggest wart on her forehead, and what are the ProudScotButteries getting their red, white and blue Y-fronts in a twist about? An SNP Car Tax which doesn’t actually exist.

There are many ways to fool the electorate, to spin and deceive, and my goodness over the years the Tories have deployed most of them but this is a cracker.

The Scottish Government, in a salve tae the Greens following the Scottish budget negotiations, propose a discretionary tax raising power for local councils, you know, a bit of devolution, power at a local level, to charge a workplace parking levy if they choose to do so. This is not mandatory. It’s a proposal being consulted upon.It hasn’t even been drafted yet.

Deputy Dawg of the British government’s northern and lucrative province branch, Jackson Carloan (would you buy a Capri Ghia from that man Rodney?) fresh from his pronouncement the other day that Ruth Davidson is ‘likely’ to be the next First Minister of Scotland, had the masses ranks (literally tens of them) of Young Conservatives up and down the country hitting the streets, down among the real people, where the action is, to protest against this cruel SNP Tax, which, as mentioned before, doesn’t exist.

They know that they are promoting an untruth, spinning a falsehood to the Scottish public, but their blinkered one track focus on SNP Bad supersedes everything else. They are oblivious.

Meanwhile Brexit starts to smoulder as their overlords in the British state starts talking about increasing its ‘lethality and mass’.Mental.

‘Precious unionism’ in the control of a bunch of chancers makes no sense for Scotland. It is harmful. They are dragging us down and holding us back. Launch the lifeboats soon First Minister, please.

When Hell freezes over


There is delusional and then there is just plain bonkers. News that deputy heid yin of the British Conservative and Unionist Party in their distant but lucrative province of Scotland, Jackson Carloan, reckons that Ruth Davidson is ‘likely’ to be Scotland’s next first minister clearly indicates that the man needs to find himself a non-hermetically sealed cupboard (for we mean no harm to the afflicted) in a quiet corner of a very quiet house in an equally quiet street to go and have a nice wee quiet lie down in. The plot he’s clearly lost.
Yes, we, attuned to the gold fish bowl of Scottish political life, know that we find ourselves steeped on a daily basis in a great big skittery toilet bowl of unionist propaganda, propaganda which for years, up until relatively recently, used to make many Scots who were starting to wisen up to the realities of ‘pooling and sharing’ in ‘our precious union’ give up, say this is all too hard, and turn over the channel to be zombified by three hours of Great British cake decorating on ice whilst exploring country houses of the Home Counties and eating the shrunken teste of an unfortunate Kangaroo from the colonies. We’ve even paid for a licence to be subjected to it! But this, this is a spin too far.
The political party which Ruth Davidson has represented, and will again once she returns to the political arena, have ravaged Scotland. It has torn the life out of many communities. The results of its actions in the latter quarter of the 20th century, its policies, its experiments, its vendettas, all are still prevalent today in Scotland. The decimation of industry and manufacturing, the hardship, the misery, the untold damage on the physical and mental health of thousands of Scots, the planned poverty, the foodbanks, the asset stripping, the making of a fast buck, the diversion of capital funding to feed the needs of the city state, all are directly attributable to them.
That same political party are about to cause further untold economic, social and cultural damage by completely ignoring the democratic will of the people of Scotland, 62% of whom voted for their country to remain as a member of the European Union, a privilege we were advised by Unionists we would lose if we voted for self-government in 2014.  We don’t matter. They can tell us anything they like, there are no consequences.
You can doctor as many TV studio audiences in post-industrial areas of Scotland with clusters of right-wing heid-bangers as you like, trying to falsely portray a semblance of popularity (Michael Forsyth being cheered in Motherwell is about as clear a demonstration of that as you are ever likely to see). You can, in extremely unusual times, (post Indy and Brexit referendums) convince some of a certain ilk to vote for the likes of the imbecilic Ross Thomson and the rest of the ProudScotbut Tory cheerleading band at Westminster by deploying a campaign based on a binary Yes/No to a self-governing Scotland, but never, ever, ever will Ruth Davidson be the first minister of a devolved parliament of Scotland, not even in coalition, not even in her dreams.

England expects


“Dashed inconvenient this is Speed. My father didn’t splash out the family loot on my commission into the navy for this damned lark. He’d spin in his box, the guvnor, if he knew!” 

Lt Commander Jeremy Speedicut-Hindmarsh-Toalyfart turned towards his companion, Commander Harry Brexitman (RN MBE MM, and as a teenager many years before a former contestant styled as a yuppie on Blind Date), and concurred.

“I agree Brex. This should never have happened. The admiralty should never have put you in this position. How can you possibly convert a Thames pleasure craft into a vessel capable of carrying a squadron of Eurofighters up into the mouth of the Yangtze River to fly the flag and carry out forward area training sorties over Hunan Province? It can’t be done. We’d need to strip the DJ’S sound system out and the mirrored dance floor just to cobble together a makeshift flight deck, and what about the mounted cannons, where are they going to fit?”
“Stop calling them Eurofighters Speed, it’s not a thing these days. I was reading a confidential Defence report the other day prepared by that idiot politico with the whining voice, Williamson, that says we are rebranding all of our fighter jets as Super Spitfires.

Anyway, I’m writing to the admiral of the fleet to express my concern that this new mission would take me away from my primary duty of the last year since March 2019. The daily flotilla of sailing boats, barges and paddle steamers evacuating sunburned ‘expats’ along with their bottles of HP sauce, flip flops and teabags off the hostile beaches of the Costa del Sol needs me to continue as their convoy commander, otherwise they may lose the Dunkirk spirit. They must get through.”
Face flushing with pride Toalyfart stood solidly to attention, his backbone ramrod straight before his superior officer. With a plucky grin on his ninth generation Eton College face he exclaimed “You must admit old chap we’re in exciting times, England is back!”

‘Nae mair, nae mair’


Dear goodness. There it is, there it is exactly, Brexit in the shell of a nut.

The speech by Tory Defence Secretary Gavvie Williamson CBE (the former fireplace salesman who took over after Tory Central HQ discovered that Sir Michael Fallon was a bit touchy feely and also deeply traumatised after Bernard Ponsonby asked him to answer a straight question about defence shipbuilding contracts with a straight answer) making a speech at the Royal United Services Institute yesterday really gave us the insight into what we all already suspected was the truth about Greater Great Grrr Britain’s divorce from the EU.

It’s a last desperate attempt by a former Imperial power, whose chickens have all come home to roost as they inevitably would eventually, to try and still appear relevant in a world that increasingly finds them irrelevant. Kind of pathetic really, and the bold Gavvie has helped confirm it.
Who writes these Tory government speeches, Alf Garnett’s grandson? It’s frightening stuff. It’s Raleigh, it’s Marlborough, It’s Nelson, It’s Haig, It’s good old Monty, It’s Bomber Harris, It’s plucky steadfast Winnie, it’s boak inducing, it really is.

Williamson, who has one of those voices that engender that feeling of teeth grinding and hairs standing up on the back of your neck when someone runs a nail down the side of a corrugated shed, tells us, in that fake sincere rhythmic nonsense speak, whilst his head meanders from side to side, a style that he seems to share with his robotic leader, that “Brexit has brought us to a great moment in our history. A moment when we must strengthen our global presence (by cutting ourselves off from being a member of the biggest free trading bloc in the world), enhance our lethality and increase our mass.”
What exactly does he mean? The Oxford Living Dictionaries definition of the word ‘Lethality’ is as follows “The capacity to cause death or serious harm or damage”.

Therefore Gavvie, Alf’s grandson, the Disco Dancing Diva of Downing Street, the  Churchill-channelling Johnson, and the host of hooray numpties of the Whitehall Brexiteer drinking and cigar club , are mad keen, in fact positively slavering, at the prospects of enhancing Britain’s ability to kill human beings for profit and the glory of the old school tie, what.

Gavvie goes on to tell us with an element of self-delusion that “We (Britain) should be the nation that people can turn to when the world needs leadership,”

I think he’ll find achieving that aim a bit of a problem seeing as generally in the past British ‘leadership’ was achieved by force on whatever part of the world the British state felt at the time could be used to best serve their purposes. The old question ‘Why doesnt the sun ever set over the British Empire? (originally referring to the wide ranging size of the lands once under Imperial power)and the response ‘Because you can’t trust the bastards in the dark’ comes to mind, once bitten etc.
Really folks, these nutters are living in a past where a quarter of the world didn’t spend decades painfully extricating themselves from a global menace who had spent long years asset stripping  their countries and shipping it all back to country houses in the Home Counties, a past where the Suez Crisis never existed, a past where the post-war miracle of the NHS and the welfare state didn’t happen, a past where millions around the globe suffered in the name of “bringing British civilisation to the world”.
Well I tell you what, that isnae Scotland’s future. It’s the 21st century. We are getting out of this. It’s time to launch the lifeboat. There’s a phrase in a song written by Hamish Henderson invoking the spirit of John Maclean that sums it up best. “Nae mair, nae mair’.
Indeed, nae mair.

Up to the knees in propaganda


I dunno what’s worse, the BBC ‘fixing’ the audiences of Question Time in Scotland, or the BBC expecting its viewing audience no’ tae notice that they ‘fix’ the audiences of Question Time in Scotland.

I thought the programme a while back  from Dundee could not be beaten for demonstrable contrived heavily weighted and biased political theatre (clearly I and many others hadn’t  the first clue that Dundee was actually a strong Tory hotbed, belying its voting record, so much so that nobody there actually seemed to speak with a recognisably Dundonian accent, who knew?) but last night’s effort from Motherwell took the digestive and a whole packet of jammy dodgers.
Clearly the fine people of the former steel town have forgiven ex-Tory poster boy and Thatcher acolyte, sook and lickspittle Michael Forsyth (for our younger readers he was to Margaret Thatcher what Ross Thomson, prior to his seven too many gin and tonics this week, was to Boris Johnson’s inflated ego, only more so, if that is possible). Ach it was only a couple of big chimneys, some factories and the odd ruined life here and there, let bygones be bygones eh. Very magnanimous of them, particularly too considering, like Dundee, their voting record.
Then there was the revolving, revolting, re-appearance in the audience of the wandering Orangeman and failed UKIP politician Billy McBilly. Incredible! The man has a season ticket for this show. There are over five million people in Scotland yet this geezer has been on Question Time more times than the SNP in the last couple of years, and gets to ask a question on every occasion, well no’ so much a question more an angry ranting statement, at the end of which you can almost sense his colonic rage at not being able to sign off with the phrase “No Surrender”. For a bit of variety he’s bringing his drum the next time.
The BBC are getting to the point now where they are not even trying to mask their British nationalist propaganda. It’s pretty desperate stuff.
Thankfully more of our fellow Scots are getting wise to this nonsense . Seriously, if you can’t see it, you’re not looking with your eyes or listening with your ears, you’re walking around in a cosy ‘Great British’ daze.