Short, but not sweet the day folks. We’re heading into March, an election getting closer by the hour, and absolutely everybody, and their auntie, are after Nicola Sturgeon with lit torches and pitchforks, like she was Pol Pot.
The Tories, kid-on-Labour, Wee Wullie Rennie’s mob, the usual news media presenters, the (Not) the Scotsman, and the HeraldEngland are all piling in on the back of the wrath of those who concur with the theories, and allegations, of underhanded conspiracy around the investigations into the behaviour of former First Minister Alex Salmond. ‘Ya dancer, sleaze and corruption’, calls the grinning ermine-cloaked Colonel Ruth from atop her Challenger tank, ‘evil separatism is crumbling and we don’t even need to do much to help it on its way. The Nats are eating themselves. Rule Britannia!!!’
I have no opinion on which of these two figures will prevail in what is currently a maelstrom of accusation and counter-accusation. I have no dog in the race. I’ve gone numb about the whole thing. Self-destruction being such a typically Scottish trait. This time on a grand scale. What I do think though is that it is an incredible pity.
Together, the current and former First Ministers of Scotland, the first of their kind to be non-unionist, both committed to getting Scotland over the line on a journey to a renewed independent status, were a formidable, almost irresistible force.
In a time when, at one point, winning a referendum on independence was considered, by many, to be unachievable, they almost, almost managed it, despite all of the bile, lies and skulduggery of the massively resourced and advantaged opposition. Imagine, if they were still in some sense a working partnership now, post the betrayals of Brexit, amidst the disastrous and criminally negligent and corrupt mismanagement of a pandemic by Westminster?
What comes next? Who knows. Very deeply held polarised opinions, insult and belittlement on either side will make re-establishing a formidable middle ground, and positive forward motion to where we want to be, a harder place to get to.
I’m no’ gonnae go for the usual attempt at whimsy sardonic humour, satire, or the exaggerated highlighting of the failings and incompetencies of the unionist opponents we face as an entirely justified and rightful diverse movement committed to the restoration of a sovereign self-governing progressive Scotland.
Scotland, my homeland, which holds a place in my heart, second only to my wife, children and grandchildren.
Naw, today all I’m gonnae say is f***in sort yerselves oot.
From current and former political leaders, to current and former MP’s and MSP’s, and councillors, to professional bloggers, to those with vested personal interests, fringe groups, factions and plain and simply those who would start a riot in an empty hoose, sort it!
Enough wae the bitterness, enough wae the hatred, enough with the splits and divisions. Differences of opinion and debate are healthy. This is way beyond that.
Otherwise we’re gonnae head back along the typically well worn Scottish self sabotaging path of snatching defeat from victory, an outcome we wallow in, and almost crave continually, repeating ourselves over and over and over again, downing ourselves in all things. We then self-justify the too wee, too poor, too timid shyte.
We are better than that. Our positivity was our biggest weapon towards creating a better future, an independent future. Look above the tree line, see the big picture. We have a chance to transform our country. Currently our opponents need do nothing but sit back and watch us self destruct.
Do you think that there are still Scots out there who really, once they’ve considered it, looking beyond the headline, behind the propaganda, believe, when the Tories start rabbiting on about Scotland benefitting from injections of money from the London Treasury (as seen in the latest propaganda splash across the Unionist backing media and the usual mouthpiece agents of another country in Scotland, about $1.1 billion released to provide support to businesses during the pandemic) that these are acts of benevolence, gifts, generous acts of caring, offered by altruistic partners in an equal relationship?
Around the time of the 2014 referendum we regularly used to hear members of the ProudScotbut too wee, too poor, too rubbish brigade bumbling on about England subsiding Scotland, and how we couldn’t survive without them providing us with handouts as we’d all end up in penury.
There was no dissuading them, no rocking their view, resulting in a lot of wasted energy and discussion about conditions like cognitive dissonance (being British, and having drummed into them for many years that British means best, something that some could just not get over, despite being presented with much evidence to the contrary).
If they still exist where do these people think the money the country to the south so kindly provide us with, when they feel like it, finances that London can inject and withdraw on a whim, actually comes from?
Put simply, the money that the London treasury so kindly provides to Scotland in these instances comes from two sources, the revenue created from the taxes, resources, assets and innovation of the people of Scotland, (yes it is indeed your money, generated by you in the first place), and, huge amounts borrowed on the financial markets, on your behalf, by another country, much of the time to pay for that other country’s priorities in your country, like weapons of mass murder, that aren’t necessarily high priorities you would have yourself if Scotland had its own ability to borrow for itself. The majority of Scots, for example, may wish to invest in trying to wipe out poverty and the drugs deaths crisis rather than wiping out Beijing or Pyongyang.
Here’s the thing. That borrowing on the financial markets that London does on your behalf causes them not a milli-second of loss of sleep because being Teflon–coated they apply that additional debt to Scotland, call it Scotland’s debt and then tell you are living in a financial basket case, and talk about financial black holes a lot each time the annual GERs figures hit the (Not)’The Scotsman, the HeraldEngland and the BBC.
They’re spending the credit card (and most often not during a pandemic) like a Kardashian organising a birthday party, and you,and everyone else in Scotland, without any say in how, and where, much of it is allocated, are paying for it.
So really all of that ‘broad-shouldered “pooled and shared” generosity that the likes of Doogie (VAR with the batteries removed) Ross, Colonel Ruth and Alister Jack, (what is he for?) wax lyrically about to their adoring media, portraying these acts (in a well spun haver) as a benefit of being part of the UK, is just so much wind, and most definitely a product which flows through the urinary tract.
It’s a fairly easy concept to understand. Smoke and mirrors folks, smoke and mirrors.
It’s time all of that stopped. It’s time Scotland’s people had control of their own financial levers, investing the wealth and product of our country on our priorities, the health, wellbeing, and futures of our citizens, all of them.
#Independence is normal. Being governed by another country is not.
I find myself shaking my big turnip-shaped heid with an almost manic ferocity,likely to topple its ungainly form completely off the swivel bolt through ma neck, at an article on the online overnight version of the (Not) ‘The Scotsman’.
The leading British propaganda newspaper in Scotland (and it takes a lot to be the leader in such a crowded market), reports much angst and hand wringing taking place amongst the ranks of the Holyrood Tory hordes.
These denizens of all things self and greed are apparently getting themselves exercised and unhealthily constipated about the fact that half a dozen or so Scottish Government public servants, the workers, no’ the politicos, have been caught making a public comment or two on social media about how entirely rank they, and their lords and masters in London, are at the business of, well, just about anything. No, sorry, apologies, they are good at something, they are good at reducing the population, and trying to starve or drive insane most of the rest.
They’ve a dossier BiGod, a dossier, (no’ another dossier, I blame John Le Carre and Don Revie) of such misdeeds, with offenders names against them, dates, times and everything, to show that these heinous individuals have breached rules set out in the code of conduct for such things, and they’ve sent a strongly worded letter.
Heads must roll, Sturgeon must act,they cry! Their salaries are paid for by the taxpayer. That’s not allowed! It’s propaganda they say, and not of the wholesome red, white and blue tie a mutineer to the working end of a cannon whilst listening to the Archers type either.
The brass neck of these Tories. Meanwhile in an alternative universe somewhere in the other side of Nelson’s column, Boris Johnson and his band of Hammer House of demented moon howling over-educated and under intelligent nutters, and Priti Useless, are pumping out false propaganda on an hourly basis about everything in a range from spinning the yarn that several thousand folk having to die because as a government they couldnae be bothered shutting Heathrow for a bit actually was good for British trade, to comparing themselves constantly, and favourably, in all things with the EU, to trying to divert attention away from their dangerous and negligent incompetence by crowing about an imaginary tunnel that’s going to not be built, to Venus or Ireland or somewhere else, dug by thousands of wee Mark Francois lookalikes with beach buckets and spades. They have no shame. They are in power, they do not feel threatened, they say, and get away with, whatever they like.
This is before you consider that Johnson and the rubberised Spitting Image puppet, Gove, are spending a fortune of tax payers money on their Union Unit, a cabinet Office team specially put together to spew British nationalist propaganda and anti-.independence negativity at you by the ton, and you get to pay for that privilege, oh and they are near doubling their staff! They might want to recruit from the military unit that also exists to cause havoc, division and confusion amongst supporters of self-government by spreading propaganda. They would be ideal candidates.
The British state produces self glorifying, self affirming propaganda on an industrial scale akin to the Scandinavian children’s fairy tale of yore of how the sea became salty. Johnson’s clown shoe government are the salt grinder, and their media pour out the salt 24/ 7, 52 weeks of every year.
But woe betide half a dozen public servant advisors at Holyrood for mentioning that the Tories were a bit bonkers for isolating the UK and building barriers against its main trading partner, and eruditely communicating that Boris Johnson was a bit of a numpty.
Ye really couldnae paint a red neck on these folk. C’mon, let’s keep it real.
A Scottish Government spokesperson, when asked said that the First Minister would reply to the letter, but the code of conduct makes it clear that “special advisers ‘are able to represent ministers’ views with a degree of political commitment that would not be possible for other civil servants’.”
I can think of a few comments I’d like Nicola Sturgeon to put in that letter, but clearly not words I could repeat here.
#Independence is normal. Being governed by another country is not
Since 2014, after all of the false starts, new organisations formed, (and then fading away into the background) committees, working groups, busy work, pronouncements made, marching us halfway up hills and then back down again, and splits, reknits and hairy fits within various factions of the current manifestation of the movement towards an independent Scotland, the announcement that the Scottish Government are set to make public a Bill to legislate for a second, and presumably decisive, referendum on the question of Scotland’s future governance, its timing, and the question which the people of Scotland will be asked, might result in many of us taking this news with more than just a pinch of salt.
In fact Saxa might be in danger of not being able to keep up with production in the next few weeks. However this announcement is indeed welcome.
Constitution spokesperson for the Scottish Government, Mike Russell (the poor soul who up until the ultimate British nationalist isolationist own goal was scored and the baw was eventually burst, had to sit through endless Britannic waffle and nonsense at pointless cosmetically designed meetings, where at the other side of the table the Brexit Brain’s Trust demonstrated, amongst other things, the various facial expressions that can display bewilderment and a lack of mental capacity to comprehend complicated export and import issues, apoplexy and constipation) has stated that a draft bill will be published before the Scottish Government recess which will forerun the elections in May.
Whatever is in that draft Bill, which I’m sure has been lying gathering stoor on a shelf in, what a certain clownish marble-mouthed leader of our imperial masters, describes as an ‘oven ready’ state, for some now, I hope not to see much more than a cursory reference to a section 30 order. I’d rather not see any mention of it at all, (the Scottish people are sovereign, and do not in any shape or form require the permission of another country to decide their own future) but that is not how it will go.
Things being as they are and the First Minister, as usual, and often to the extreme frustration of some, always being keen to bend over backwards to make every possible hard won inch forward towards independence continue to be able to be viewed as fair, reasonable and transparent to any of or our not-yet-convinced country-folk, will give the request for a section 30 order to seek leave to hold a referendum its due place in the process.
What the draft Bill must clearly state, stipulating firm timescales, is exactly what is intended when, (not if) the mop-headed Muppet from Downing Street and his gaggle of gallus wide-ows burp their usual mocking cry of “Now is not the time, maybe 50 years is the time, you Jocks promised that it was once in a generation” nonsense.
London’s refusal to comply (if we live in a democracy it is not their decision to make) must be dismissed completely as un-democratic, by-passed, and the request treated as simply a courtesy notification of what comes next.
The forces of unionism and their media, the likes of VAR with the batteries removed and then chucked in the Forth, Doogie Ross, the glib and smug Andrew Bowie, the nonentity who is currently the Secretary of State Against Scotland Alister Jack, and the increasingly busy taxpayer funded, Union Unit, created to generate anti-independence propaganda, who are getting staffed up for the coming campaign (they know they can’t stop it) will all try to have a gala day by calling any actions to move forward to a referendum by the Scottish Government as an “Illegal wildcat ‘ vote.
A referendum certainly will not be illegal. Any legality or measure of legitimacy has not been tested to any great extent in court, and can only be tested in real time, not as a hypothetic proposition.
As for “Wildcat” I would suggest it’s more likely to feel, for some, more like the historically accepted concept of Scots being governed by another country is being gnawed at by a slightly peeved, but becoming increasingly belligerent, geriatric feline.
Should our opponents choose to take the huff, and decide they are not going to take part in the coming referendum, to not campaign, to do nothing but pump out lies, half-truths and fallacious conspiracy theories via the well-worn Project Fear playbook, that’s fine too. I think as a nation we are past that. We’ve had countless aipples aff that cairt afore. A positive upbeat campaign and a significant turn out from those who see a better Scotland, fit for our children and grandchildren to grow and flourish in, will take the prize.
This announcement hopefully heralds another step towards an independent Scotland, a step forward. There is always hope.
#Independence is normal. Being governed by another country is not.
As a committed advocate of a future self-governing socialist progressive Republic of Scotland it is becoming increasingly depressing to read the increasingly heightened vitriol that the First Minister of Scotland is attracting on social media, not from rabid dyed in wool British nationalists, but from individuals purported to be supporters of independence. Some of this stuff is horrible, and way over the top.
Since I started writing about independence in 2012, and as the sole writer of this blog, my original, and continuing, motivation has been, in a very minor way, to help, to add my contribution, with many others, in trying to rebalance the clear bias and unfairness of a state propaganda machine pumping out lies, half-truths and fantasies in order to keep my country down, and remain vulnerable to continued exploitation by a country that governs us from somewhere else.
My approach is to target the opposition, to expose the often ludicrous acts, words and decisions of the figureheads of the government, the unionist official opposition and the Establishment of our southern neighbours who govern our country, through satire, making fun of them, exaggerating their weaknesses (although in a lot of cases it doesn’t take much exaggeration) and rebutting some of their clearly fallacious utterings with facts, and balance.
I particularly make sure that I keep the agents of our government from another country in, and from, our country under the satirical microscope, as several posts over the years relating to the likes of David (The Viceroy of Joy) Mundell and Douglas (VAR with the batteries removed) Ross will attest.
I take the view that everything I write should be just about able to be read by those amongst us not yet convinced of the benefits of taking governance back into our own hands, without making them baulk, and perhaps even in some very small way help, along with the many other options and opportunities of accessing information available to them, to cumulatively persuade them, to give them confidence, that Scotland can, and will, be a successful Northern European progressive independent country. That is what keeps me doing what I do.
I’m not getting into personalities, the views of increasingly polarised factions within the Yes movement, personal targeted insults, or disputes between politicians, that doesn’t interest me. However I don’t see any value in constantly berating those in leadership of the political party (now to a hateful bile spewing extent) whose aim is to ultimately to lead our country to independence, particularly a few months out from a Scottish Government Election which, if it returns an independence backing majority, will act as a starting pistol for a campaign which will be vital to any chance we ever have of achieving our ultimate goal.
That ultimate goal is persuading, in an independence referendum (not in a poll, or several polls) enough of our fellow Scots to form a majority in voting for self-government. England’s permission we do not need, the people of Scotland will decide, but we must give ourselves the best chance of ensuring that those making that decision make the right one. Bitter in-fighting, and pile on’s onto the First Minister of Scotland by supporters of Scottish independence is manna from heaven for the British State.
#Independence is normal, being governed by another country is not.
During this period of internal strife blanketing 20 favourable polls for independence in a bleak smoke of self-immolation it’s good to find a bit of mirth in the continued, although in this case it’s retrospective, acts of the clown circus squirty-plastic-flowered UK Government.
News yesterday that Boris Johnson’s Brains Trust, in a panic over the rising tide in Scotland of a phenomenon known as ‘catching on’ to one of the biggest con tricks of the last three hundred years, came up with a cunning plan to hire a Pickford’s truck and relocate the Arch Duke and Lady Arch Duke of Bridies (known as such due tae their fondness for scoffing large quantities of the popular Angus produced meat pastry) up the road fae an entirely cushy life of unearned privilege paid for by you, in Surrey, to an entirely cushy life of unearned privilege paid for by you, in Holyrood Palace.
This apparently, if it had been followed up on, was in the hope that the auld lady of London, Elizabeth the first of Scotland’s, youngest laddie, clearly the dimmest of a not very inspiring bunch, (his sister perhaps excepted, I say that as I admire her patronage of my hometown’s local hospice), and his wife, would become the public face of the royals in Scotland, leading efforts to increase the number of royal engagements north of Carlisle, egg n spoon races, hunt balls, that sort of thing, and save the Union.
Wow! Just wow. Presumably, under the dastardly Johnson’s plan the nonentitive younger, but middle-aged, offspring of the Sax-Coburg and Gotha line would have been expected to spend much of his time lobbing last week’s bridies across the way at Nicola Sturgeon and members of her government team, from the palace walls presumably, should any such wicked separatist wander out of the front entrance of the Scottish Parliament buildings.
Given his week and a half in the marines when he was younger, when he couldn’t swing between two posts three metres apart without falling off, resulting inexplicably these days in a massive array of medals displayed upon his chest, on the regular martial occasions that Britannia loves to wallow in, that would do Idi Amin proud, and, his subsequent embarrassing ‘Royal it’s a knockout’ fiasco, when he childishly stormed out in the cream puff live on tv when confronted with an audience and media pack more than happy, just for once, to explain to a member of the Emperor’s brood that he in fact had no clothes on, I’m pretty sure Edward Windsor’s chances of landing a mixed beef n ingin pasty right in the centre of the First Minister’s fizzer are pretty remote.
Clearly the UK Government have their finger right on the pulse of the political awakening, and change in the perceptions of the people of Scotland over the last twenty odd years, on the question of sovereignty, if they considered that sending Unsteady Eddie north to repopularise the Union in Scotland was ever going to be a good idea, not. The clown-shoe leader of the most incompetent government at Westminster in living memory’s impressive think-tank clearly needs tae be sent homewards tae think again.
Independence is normal, being governed by another country is not.
They called him Sammy the Judge, the ‘Judge’ in reference to his former occupation as a magistrate, when he had been Samuel Isambard Howard LL.B, back in the old days, before the trade wars.
Sammy was a bagman, a courier of the street currency, the stuff of life in Greater Britain in 2045, (R)ice, a synthetic food smuggled in from the vast Chinese Commonwealth plantations which covered much of south East Asia.
Sammy mainly went about his business untrammelled. Although he was patted down during casual conversation on the streets by smiling, high powered machine pistol toting, state police, like most city dwellers, on an almost daily basis, many of the local constabulary HQ militia, on the payroll, had his schedule committed to memory, and therefore knew when not to stop him going about his daily business.
Sammy’s business niche was supplementing the meagre daily rations of the ‘scroungers’, as the huge legions of vulnerable, sick and disabled, and ignored humankind, were now semi-officially described by the state public information broadcasting hub.
It had been 20 years, and more, since the events which had resulted in what was now known widely in Greater Britain as the ‘Revival of our Precious Nation’.
It had been a time of great chaos, The government of the day, the old Conservative and Unionist Party, embroiled in protracted bickering with the member states of the then UK’s former partners in the European Union, engaged in a conflict of accusation, claim and counter-claim, in a bitter aftermath of divorce, resulting in near open conflict with France over border control, and minor skirmishes with Spain over disputed land.
No one could believe that relationships had deteriorated almost to the levels experienced in the 18th and 19th centuries, which soon afterwards resulted in the ‘returned refugee crisis’ as legions of British born immigrants, settled along the warmer coasts of Europe, were unceremoniously ejected, mainly with what they could carry, trudged in long procession north to the French ports, and a stay in a cramped tented transit camp awaiting a ferry trip to a full English breakfast.
Having achieved a massive majority at Westminster, in the absence of any real opposition, apart from in the north, before the near disastrous extrication, at great economic cost, from the European Union (which was one of the factors in triggering the ‘Revival’), the government found itself under extreme pressure from many sides.
As the true extent of the damage to employment, trade, and workers rights became apparent there was civil unrest on a scale not seen for some years. It started almost inevitably with a food shortage in an inner city area of London, on a hot summer’s night, leading to months of looting and disobedience up and down the country as the strain on public services and restrictions on the supply of food and the availability and movement of goods and services began to take it’s toll.
Stuck in a dream-like state of empire renewal the UK became steadily more committed to ‘humanitarian intervention’ around the globe, arriving in far off lands with frequency, but never quite leaving again, prioritising expenditure towards a buildup of military hardware, an increased armed forces, and at home, the creation of the Homeland Patriotic Regiment.
In the north the Scots had voted again for their civic national party, which had advocated remaining in the European Union and self-determination.
The Westminster government,under pressure, had used the confidence that they had achieved in their significant majority in England (and the fact that they had managed to dislodge one or two of the overwhelmingly independence supporting MP’s from Scotland from the last election from their seats at Westminster), to tell the Scottish devolved Government in Edinburgh that this was a clear sign that the people of Scotland wanted to remain in Union with the rest of the UK. That assumptive statement did not go down well.
The Scottish government, determined to have some say in the future of their country, then called an advisory referendum on self-determination in Scotland, without the express permission of London. This followed more than a year where every poll on the subject of independence had resulted in a favourable prediction of a Yes vote win.
However, counter to this rise in the prospect of self-government becoming more popular amongst Scotland’s people, there had been many months of bickering, backstabbing, allegation, and counter allegation, conspiracy theories and denials amongst leading figures both in the political party advocating independence, their civil servants and among the wider movement for change. This assisted the British-biased media to generate a Project Fear campaign which gave them enough ammunition to make their British nationalist propaganda actions in the run up to the 2014 referendum seem tame.
Many of these self-defeating acts by those with influence in the movement towards self-determination in Scotland are well documented and historians now, looking back in 2045, may consider the impact these actions had on the eventual changes leading to the cultural renewal of our Great British nation.
On the day of the advisory referendum, with some on the unionist side boycotting the vote, and yet another morning media frenzy headlining disarray and disharmony in the ranks of the Yes leadership, the vote returned a slim 51% to 49% win for those advocating independence, much lower than the predicted margin of a 10% win many pollsters had originally stated.
Facing the potential breakup of the United Kingdom the Prime Minister was left with no choice. The referendum was not binding, had not received the consent of Westminster’s parliament and was therefore, in Whitehall’s view, constitutionally unsound. The dispute went before the lords of the land, and the courts, the legal minds of Edinburgh and London coming up with differing opinions. An impasse.
Then, coming right out of the blue, national security suddenly came into the spotlight…..
There was an uneasy silence that day as the Prime Minister took his place behind the podium “I speak to you today to tell you all that we are in danger, as is our precious Union. Our homeland is facing a terrible enemy. Our security forces have intercepted communications which have revealed that our enemies abroad are plotting against us. Now is not the time for division, now is not the time to go our separate ways. Now is the time to show that we are one people, a people who have emerged victorious from times of peril in our history, and we shall do so again. I call upon you all now, wherever you are in our glorious homeland, for we are a great partnership of equals, to do what you can, indeed, what you must, for our country”.
On that same day the early steps towards temporary martial law were announced. Twenty odd years later no one was sure whether the government, now in power for many years, the Conservative & Working People’s Party,had ever officially ended that regime, and few dared ask.
Sammy scuttled on along the busy street, stepping over near-sleeping, dishevelled and weary bodies, begging for what little there was to go round. In the distance he could hear a marching band coming up the wide thoroughfare playing a selection of uplifting pieces of music. As militia constables unceremoniously moved the street people off the walkway, and the dozens of red, white and blue flags on the surrounding lampposts fluttered, the familiar sound of “There’ll always be an England” could be heard cutting through the early afternoon breeze.
A short ‘affectionate’ fictional message to us, the many who advocate for self government for Scotland, from the right wing of one of the rightest of right wing tory governments in living memory………
“Shut up Scotland. Shut up. Settle down and be quiet. Cease that incessant babbling amongst yourselves in that nonsensical guttural slang that you grunt at each other, which isn’t a language. Stop it.
Oh how we laugh at you. If only you knew. You have us beaten. Our stranglehold on you was loosening by the hour. But no, you are too busy fighting amongst yourselves to notice. We are the ones eating popcorn now, as you bicker your way to implosion.
You play your politics like you do your football, self-sabotaging gallant also rans happy grasping defeat from victory, and living on stories of what might have been. How pitiful.
We’ve told you for years now that you are a loathsome minority. But guess what? Now you are not the minority, but the joke is on you because you are chasing those that support you away. What a wheeze!
You are so tiresome. Your parochialism is dull and boring beyond belief. Get like your fruit, veg, whisky and that awful offal haggis, get with it, get red, white and blue, get labelled, get an identity, get a brave new assertive force in the world, our navy will once again rule the waves, as we waive the rules, get British.
Listen to your fellow countrymen and women who love us. Now clearly the minority, ah but only until your current hilarious arguments, looking to observers like several groups of belligerent drunks rolling around a busy street swinging misdirected punches at each other, swells our loyal ranks again.
They’re alright Jock. Strong Proud Scots. They’ve got it right. They admire our long held common history. Strength and security. Our loving smothering embrace.
Oh look, how marvellous! The Daily Mail has a snap of our dear Premier in a chemists white coat pretending to carry out a test for viruses from a sample flask. He’s so astute, a real deep thinker and such a strong leader. In fact he’s a thoroughly nice chap. So clear and direct.
How could you possibly think you could survive on your own anyway? The clearances were inevitable. Shipbuilding got to be cheaper elsewhere. Here, have a contract for some navy frigates………Haha, only joking, gotcha again!
Ravenscraig needed to be demolished. Those factories and engineering works were only cluttering up the place. You can’t expect grouse and deer to thrive in decaying slums.
You always wanted to work as a casual shelf-stacker in a supermarket, didn’t you? Ambition? A mortgage? Come off it. Don’t make us laugh. Same day loans are designed for you, those repayment plans are there to keep you in line. Stay there.
Did we tell you that our oil, which you store for us, under your water, is running out tomorrow, and then again the next day, or is it the day after that?……You are indeed, how do you Jocks say it, ‘mug punters’, so fitting.
You have no mandate for change because we tell you you have no mandate. Even though in fact you do have several perfectly legitimate democratic mandates for self-government, and you are about to get another one, despite your self destroying infighting and bickering. It’s as simple as that. You don’t have a mandate. We decide, you don’t. It’s our type of democracy, not yours. Now is never the time.
You even had 56 out of 59 MPs at Westminster at one point. So what? They were powerless. Look at you now? Oh, and did we mention we are working on reducing the number of constituencies soon? That will again hurt you more than it will hurt us.
You live in a region of us, face it, a region we have exploited for centuries, and to an extreme for at least the last 50 years. We have really kicked the arse out of it. But you are too collectively weak, tame and now divided to recognise that, thank you auntie, viewers in Scotland, keep paying that licence.
Your own self destructive behaviour is making you weaker by the day.
We tell you we love you, and you believe it. We tell you we would be heartbroken if you decided to leave our patronising embrace. In truth we would be nothing without you, and the gift of resources we unburden you of. Thankfully your self-absorbed hair pulling will keep us safe and secure.
We’ll just keep laughing at you, marginalising you. To mock you we’ll keep printing pictures of your ridiculously atavistic blue-painted faces. Coochycoo Bravehearties. A pathetic simplistic lot. Talk about having a chip on your shoulder!
Your own perspective on news and current affairs? Why would you need that? Does Cheshire get to have a perspective on world events? No. Then why should you? London knows best… shhhhh.
That’s it, keep stabbing each other in the back, and undermining each other. Then you can come with us to experience an exciting Great British renaissance, the return of our empire. This Sceptred Isle can be great once more, in pounds and ounces. Come with us to a new world, a world of offshore tax corporate havens, land a perpetual obsession with hereditary power and personal wealth, for the very few, and Foodbanks and penury for the rest. C’mon Jock, come to Brexitopia……”
itisintruthnotforglory 
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