Let me tell you what you want

There is absolutely no truth in the rumour, that I’ve just started, that during their private meeting yesterday Elizabeth 1st of Scotland (2nd of England) was heard by a passing footman to say to the First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, that she should ‘Just go for it Hen. I’ll back ye up this time. I’m scunnert wae that wide-o, humphy-backed numpty, wandering aboot in a daze looking like an unmade scratcher, drunk and annoying everybody. I shouldnae have listened tae Cameron the last time. Just you get me up oan ma feet in front of the cameras ootside Crathie Kirk this time and I’ll swing the tweed suit and wellies brigade in your favour. I’ll even hum two verses of Caledonia as I’m getting in the motor’. (Her Royal Highness of course is famous for adopting the use of the Scots Language on her many visits to her highland estates and Edinburgh palace).

We can but imagine what the content of yesterday’s conversation was, but isn’t it great the day after the announcement of the date of our decisive independence referendum is made the way that a procession of English-based politicians are wheeled out in London’s parliament and on to the TV studio interview couches to tell the audience what it is that the people of Scotland want. Where do they get such rapier-like incisive inside knowledge?

Their political parties almost extinct in terms of being democratically electable by Scots, one after shamefully betraying their roots and troughing themselves into near Tory-like gluttony, the other, the Tories themselves, not electorally relevant in Scotland for nearly 70 years, yes 70 years, they seem to, according to them, still know an awful lot about what the people of Scotland want.

If that is the case why haven’t they tried to utilise these priceless insights to meet the needs and expectations of Scots and therefore help get members of their parties elected? Keep it up though. There’s nothing more guaranteed to swell the numbers of not-yet-decideds swinging towards a preference for self-government than a load of shouty politicians from somewhere else telling them what their problems are and how to think. Oh yes, that is indeed a vote winner.

On another related matter, we all know that once again, just like last time, the old chestnut ‘Oh woe are us, those nasty nats and all of this unsettling independence talk causes division, hate and the tragic breakup of families’, (a grossly exaggerated fallacy if ever there was one) will be wheeled out on a regular basis to muddy the waters when the voices of Union, with no real case to put forward, are cornered.

Probably like me, you occasionally get a bit disappointed at times that often we come across examples where the subject of Scotland’s future, such an important subject, is not being debated in a respectful adult manner, and it seems to somehow always be our side, those who advocate for a self-governing progressive outgoing Scotland, who get the blame for generating emotive division. 

As I did during the last campaign, I again would seriously question that premise, particularly when I look at the photograph on the front page of yesterday’s rabid dog Scottish Daily hate Mail. If you haven’t seen it check it out. Yes, there are those trying to churn up hate and distrust. It isn’t us.

Independence is normal. Independence is inevitable. Independence is coming.

Now is the time

I thought it was well worth waiting for masel’. In one leap the First Minister of Scotland rose at the back post and heedered the hordes of whinging Scottish Unionista into the bulging net of political obscurity, where, it has to be said, they feel most comfortable, it being their level.

Upon hearing what the First Minister had tae say about the upcoming referendum, in whichever of the two forms that were set out yesterday that it will take, wee Ross McDougal, unable to think quick or improvise (How the cogs ever turned quick enough in that napper for him to form a decision requiring the raising of a flag in a fitbaw match I’ll never know) just stuck tae the same weak lines about ‘pretend’ referendums, even though his argument had just become entirely irrelevant.

Anas Sarwar for the Scottish whatever it is that Labour think they are these days as usual tried tae make it all about us and ‘Nickla’ being nasty to English people simply because we want to be good neighbours rather than being governed by their ultra- privileged elite (I use the word elite loosely).What a complete sell out that kid-on socialist mob is. A total betrayal of working people and not a shameface amongst them.

Then there was that angry guy from the Liberal Democrats. He’s gonnae give himself a heart attack or a hernia that fella. He’s too angry. He was puffing and snorting and dreeping fae the nose like his heid was gonnae explode. He’s worth the watching that yin.

I think we’ve got them a wee bit rattled eh? I love too the way at times like this they all start ranting on about the day job, the major issues, the poverty, the cost of living, austerity (see Brexit for details) and all of the actual important stuff that ordinarily they really arenae that interested in, the stuff that the Scottish Government take seriously every hour of every day as they try to ameliorate the withering impacts of the wildly incompetent and corrupt circus act at Westminster who do nothing other than feather their own nests if they can get away with it.

Like the last referendum the local branch managers of Britannica have all gone personal early, as have the media. Consistently yesterday and today, we hear it is ‘Nicola Sturgeon’s referendum’, like it was Alex Salmond’s referendum the last time. This is a deliberate jape to manipulate the listener, minimising the subject, reducing independence to be about a person, not about us, not about you, the people who have exercised their democratic right to instruct your government to consider the question of your future governance once more.

In the end democracy must prevail. A partnership by consent cannot be maintained if one of those partners refuses to let the other partner exercise its own free will. 

One way or the other a referendum we must have. We’ll have to endure a right good dose of Project Fear, wildly spurious anti- independence, pro-British nationalist propaganda first, even more bizarre than last time (because this time they now we will win) but, triumph we shall.

Taking the huff

A wee shame. He’s no’ taking part in a ‘pretend’ independence referendum. The living, breathing manifestation of the Hokey Cokey. His opinions are in, they are out, they are shaking it all about. He’s had more views on his Premier from another country than a room full of world leaders at a conference during a five -minute Bawjays comfort break when he’s getting his next set of cue lines printed in big letters on his hands.

Yes, you could have bet yer grandma’s bath salts that wee Ross McDougall, the man with the flag, the VAR with the batteries removed, would be boycotting democracy, because boycotting democracy is what he does every minute of every hour of every day of his political life.

You see majority decisions simply do not count. The fact that the political party he represents, which has a prime function of maintaining the dominant exploitation of the resources and assets of countries it nominally purports to be in a partnership of equals with, a party which has had no real political strength in Scotland for getting on for near 70 years, with Scots voters substantially and consistently rejecting their policies of greed, means nothing to him, nothing at all. London control must be maintained.

It was interesting to hear his response when he was challenged on this issue on the state broadcaster’s Sunday Show. He had the fact pointed out to him that his party didn’t win the last election and the party that did win has a commitment to holding an independence referendum front and centre as a policy, a party which won comfortably. 

He also had it pointed out that therefore perhaps he is being insulting to at least half the voters of Scotland by referring to the upcoming referendum as “pretend?’

His only answer was to refer to the current process for holding a referendum, legislation which will soon come under challenge and be superseded, or ignored and by-passed, where ludicrously the democratically elected government of Scotland has to seek the permission of a government from another country, who we don’t vote for, to exercise an actual factual implacable democratic instruction from the people of our country.

I remind doubters that in Scotland the people are sovereign, not parliament, so insulting at least half of those people is actually a very big deal.

You are going to need to come up something better than that Doogie. In fact, no, better still just stick with your original huffy dismissal of the coming juggernaut which is going to sweep all of this subsumed, shackled to an increasingly bizarre, isolated, little empire state out of the way.

If one of the weans accidentally kicks a ball over your hedge into your garden, by all means burst it. We’ll get over it. A time is coming where a mature progressive outward looking social democratic Scotland will emerge. You’ve a choice to make, go with it and represent the views of people like you in that reborn nation, a democracy requires many views, or chase the crumbs at your master’s table.

Independence is normal. Independence is inevitable. Independence is coming.

It’s on

Well. That’s it on. We’re back at the starting gate again.

The same same, same old, same old, old groundless tropes are being wheeled out, lazily not even dusted down, and slung bitterly in the direction of anyone showing even the slightest bit of positive interest in Scotland being exactly the same as just about every other country in the world, self-governing. For the record….

Nope, the Independence Referendum of 2014 wasn’t declared a once in a lifetime event that we promise never to do again, cross our hearts and hope to die, by the forces of progressive democracy in Scotland. That simply is a convenient Unionist untruth, a misuse of the language used by the leaders of the independence movement at the time when they expressed the view that we best take advantage of the opportunity to grasp self-determination in case the wide-boys in London fiddled the system so that we’d never get another chance.

Nope, the wailing and gnashing about the horrors of yet another ‘divisive’ referendum aggressively dividing families and destroying relationships is indeed nonsense too. 

The last referendum was only divisive to the Proud Scot Buttery People on the Naysayer side because they didn’t like what they saw as the startling momentum of the positive case for Scotland spread throughout the land, going far beyond their view of what a ‘separatist’ campaign could achieve (By the way we aren’t separatists either. If you look at what has happened to the UK since 2014 there’s only one side that could be labelled with that one, little Britain).

No, apart from Jimmuck Murphy getting a free-range medium size egg hurled at him whilst he talked gibberish on a street corner the only bitterness, divisiveness and aggression I seem to remember took place on September 19th that year when the dregs of the worst element of what unionism stands for crawled out of their shadowy corners and descended on George Square. They couldn’t even win gracefully.

0n that subject, nope, for perhaps the 2,000th time, we don’t hate English folk, many of our number are English folk. We are not racist, unlike some we are in fact inclusive in an all Jock Tamson’s Bairns kind of way, and yes, yer Granny in Folkestone will still be yer Granny in Folkestone who sends ye Thornton’s toffee and a scarf for yer Christmas every year once we return to our rightful state of independence. 

Ye see love conquers all, not hate. I love all of my English cousins and family. England is full of marvellous folk and great places to visit, they are marvellous neighbours. It’s just their government governing my country I don’t agree with.

A border is a big imaginary line in the land with some signs next to it, and despite the nonsense and distracting chaff being flung up about what happens when Scotland goes back in to the EU and isolationist England creating an EU border akin to post-war Berlin I think you’ll find when it comes to it England will not wish, economically or otherwise, to lose or amend too much the trading relationship it has with what will be its second largest export market after America.

Then there’s this business of a section 30 order. Do you think there are many of our country folk who don’t know or don’t quite understand the implications of the mockery of democracy that a political party from another country, who haven’t been voted for by the people of Scotland for over 66 years, are allowed to tell us, a country who have democratically voted to allow our government to call an independence referendum, that we can’t do that? 

This my friends is a key message we must get across to our friends, family and colleagues not-yet-convinced. Once the reality of this is grasped the sham of what is supposed to be a union by consent, which it clearly isn’t, becomes undeniable.

The idea that the democratic will of the majority of the people can be denied, again, just it was during the Brexit vote, is simply unsustainable. It is a perfectly legitimate position to take to oppose the view that Scotland should return to a state of independence. However to deny the people the right, when they have expressed their will to do so, to be canvassed on the question of their future governance is not.

There is also a misconception that independence is all about the SNP, Nicola Sturgeon and the wicked creation of a one-party state. What people of that view don’t seem to grasp is that with independence they’ll get the chance to vote in whichever government that they want, from their own country, government which meet the needs of the people of Scotland. 

Independence is not about the SNP or any other political party. It is about giving the people, including them, the choice in the future to not be governed by an other country which first and foremost has its own interests as a priority. This is another key message that our yet-to-be persuaded folks need to receive and understand. A key pillar of the upcoming campaign.

This time the dynamic has changed. The shoe is on the other foot. The doubt, uncertainty and lack of clarity (on virtually any subject) sits firmly in the camp of the clown shoe circus which passes for a UK Government, currently running a show which is held together dangerously loosely by nothing else than pomp, ceremony and out-dated tradition. That is all they have.

This time dear friends we will be asking all of the questions. Questions like why should we stay in a Union which doesn’t work for our benefit?

A protected species

The man could literally swill gin out of a clarty wellie boot in the Member’s Lobby of the House of Commons, challenge Ian Blackford tae a bare bellied fist fight, then drop his frilly union-flagged Y-fronts, take a dump in front of the statue of Churchill and get away with it.

This he would do on the strength of a brass-necked two minutes in front of a camera and a pet BBC reporter the next day to say he denies any wrongdoing because everything he does is within the guidelines he keeps changing, whilst at the same time expressing his shock at his own shocking behaviour, which didn’t happen, but it’s okay now though because he’s taken appropriate steps to ensure that it will never happen again, even though it didn’t happen in the first place and can we please just get on with him talking about the great work his government are doing for the people of ‘the country’?

He literally has no sense of honour, a conscience or even a modicum of self-awareness. Criticism, blazing headlines highlighting his proven incompetence, a damning media expose, public humiliating booing, none of that fazes him in the slightest, because he simply does not care. 

Similar and in fact less damning outcomes to yesterday’s Tory vote of confidence historically have seen the likes of John Major, Thatcher and more recently Theresa May, sliding slowly towards the wrong side of the front door in Downing Street. This guy will need to either be physically carried out or tempted out by a troupe of pole dancers gyrating provocatively around a brand-new floor-to-ceiling Fisher and Paykel Fridge Freezer parked on the road where the media rostrum usually sits. A feck about what others think of him he does not give.

As long as he remains a shielding totem for the likes of Gove and Rees-Mogg and the darling of his cheerleader squad led by Patel, Truss and Dorries (my goodness has there ever been such a bunch of weirdoes devoid of substantive intellect in one government?) allowing them all a free hand to advance the egos and fortunes of themselves, their buddies and those who donate substantial sums to party funds in exchange for patronage, diverting attention away from them in his comedic bumbling manner, they’ll back him. He’s laughing.

Under the current rules of the game Johnson now cannot be challenged by the rebels for a 12 month period. Like every disaster he is involved in this one too shall pass, leaving him still partially Teflon-coated. I’ve lost count of the times since he became Prime Minister through each stumbling, often dangerous, demonstration of incompetence, where I’ve thought surely that’s it now, he must go. He won’t. He never does.

However if ever there was a time for the proposed campaign for next year’s referendum seeking the final instructions of the people of Scotland to return our country to its rightful state of independence to begin it is right now. There is one thing for sure which is guaranteed to topple Boris Johnson from his lofty seat. Being known as the last Prime Minister of the UK will do it, and why would we care.

Is it over yet?

Oh Holy Mither of the God fella, Tarus Bulba, Mangas Coloradas and twa or three mair. 

The biggest orgy of nationalism seen since Kim Jong-un last had his toenails cut descended intae farce yesterday when the big golden coach that goes with the golden hat that’s sale price could feed the many lining up at Foodbanks for a month was paraded up and doon, empty apart fae a hologram of the auld dear in her pomp from her coronation day. 

A non-existing moving picture waving at crowds fronted by dozens of those weird creepy sycophants who sleep outside for days, dress up in union flags and cradle toy doll babies each time another child is born into unimaginable wealth and privilege, to be worshipped by accident of birth, who waved enthusiastically back. 

It’s Harry Potter! The entity which is the crumbling UK which now only has this nonsensical tradition and pomp left to hold it flimsily together has descended into becoming a live version of a Hogwarts farce. 

As you can probably tell I am not a royalist. I don’t understand the cult of hereditary worship, the celebrity, the fabulous unquantifiable wealth traditionally acquired on the backs of others, the cause of untold human misery around the world in the guise of civilising others.

I don’t get the elite privilege, the corruption, the right to do exactly what they want to to detriment of other human beings who in reality are exactly the same as themselves, equal to them, with no consequences, no repercussions. 

An uber-entitled group ludicrously by right of birth being protected by an elite whose very existence depends on the cult of royalty being a continuing acceptable proposition to the majority of ordinary people. 

In the 21st century this is Wizard of Oz stuff. When the old lady currently at the top of the pyramid passes it’s time for someone to pull back the Wizard’s curtain and reveal the reality of the biggest confidence trick known in modern times. 

Thankfully Scotland is taking a very different path. 

Returning our country to its rightful state of self-determination and deciding whether to retain or not the continuing link to hereditary royalty are two separate questions. 

Let’s get over the line with the principal question first and then canvass the people about their views on retaining the nationalistic farce that was so clearly on display over the last few days. 

Some day soon Scotland will become an outgoing mature fully grown up 21st century progressive social democracy without all of this former imperial elitist baggage. I can’t wait for that day to come.