I take a few days out and look what happens, the circus that is politics in Scotland elevates to a new level of bedlam that satire would definitely struggle to duplicate.
Former First Minister Alex Salmond, Red Alexis, the Lenin of Lithgae, turned out, not surprisingly to around half of the population of Scotland, to not actually be the c**t for Red October, but instead produced a current affairs programme on a Russian news channel which discussed and promoted such noble subjects as equality, fairness, dignity and democracy.
I enjoyed it, and it was refreshing to see an English language news programme actually interview Carles Puigdemont, the President of Catalonia, rather than just defend their employers position by dismissing him, his government and the people of Catalonia who voted for them as ” Ex, or deposed leader”, “separatists”, ” illegal”, ” awaiting extradition”, or ” a minority” .
By the wailing and gnashing of teeth that went on last week by all of the usual suspects, and some new ones, in the British state media you’d think Salmond had taken a dump on the back lawn of Buckingham Palace just before a garden party and had pledged to move into an office in Lubjanka Square after undergoing an obligatory political re-education programme somewhere roon aboot Murmansk.
That fella Torrance is gonnae ruin his own health if he’s not careful, with his Salmond obsession. He should get out and get some fresh air more often.
Higher up the British nationalist food chain the notion that Salmond now has a wider platform to promote self-determination for Scotland without them being able to manipulate, spin or filter the content of his programmes is causing more cases of aching piles than constipation, and that can only be a good thing.
Somewhat putting the faux outrage over Alex Salmond’s TV show into the shade, the news that one half of the two Not-so-Cleverly Sisters, famous for their long-running duet in the Scottish media ” Get on with the day job Nicla” Kezia Dugdale, is to abandon her chair at Holyrood for a bit to fly tae the deepest darkest jungle in Australia to be humiliated publicly for money. Up until recently she had been doing this regularly anyway during First Minister’s questions in parliament but for not quite the same level of coin. At least Alex Salmond gets to interview the democratic leaders of new countries for his rubles and hopefully RT won’t insist that he has to masticate the roasted genitals of a blue-tongued lizard.
Surely hypocrisy abounds when ‘Kez’ and her military fetishist political colleague, who prides herself in winning the Ruth Davidson of the Year Award on an annual basis for her services to the British state, an ambitious politician who now has one eye on a safe seat in the country she really wants to be part of a government in, can do such things,
Ruth, as we all know, likes to get her neb in on on every talk show, soothing-the- masses nonsense that’s Great British in nature, or even attend Conservative Gala dinner and dances in the south of England that she can manage. The day job? Meeting constituents? Perhaps not so much.
Then we have a new player on the scene. Freshly squeezed out of the tube of regularly changing leaders of the Scottish branch office into Kez’s old job, and triumphant over all opponents for the position ( he beat Anas Sarwar) Tricky Dicky Leonard is on the case. First impressions would suggest he is going to turn out to be just like the previous three or four incumbents, but where Kez was always a wee bit transparent, and Johann Lamont just looked like she’d swallowed a wasp who’d been feasting on a particularly sour pickled onion, he’s looking like he’s as fly as a sober jailer. This he demonstrated very quickly by his blatant attempt publicly to somehow shoehorn Labour into getting credit for something they had absolutely nothing to do with over the last few days, as the Scottish government has gone into overdrive to try and stop engineering firm BiFab from going into administration.
Even as the GMB Union made their feelings known that they appreciate the great efforts that the First Minister and her team have put in to protecting the livelihoods of their members, Leonard has been somehow trying to spin a yarn that it was Labour pressure which forced the Scottish government to somehow capitulating to something or other, a figment of his own mind perhaps, rather than what actually happened. A classy guy. He’s as many faced as his leader, whose knowledge of Scotland seems to sit purely on the level of ” There would be turbo-charged austerity in Scotland if it became independent.”
Meanwhile the First Minister of Scotland, as part of the actual day job, spent last week trying not to laugh hysterically, or pull her own hair out, listening to Theresa May’s robotic determined nationalist madness, maintaining her professionalism in front of the cameras afterwards outside the Downing Street Big Top in order to not start a stampede, flying to a meeting of Arctic Circle countries to have her words listened to by an audience who respect her opinions as a leader who recognises that the environment of our world is headed for the file cabinet of seriously and irreversibly bolloxed if we don’t do something drastic to try and fix it, before coming home to get into two days of intensive negotiations to broker a deal to save a Scottish firm, protecting 1.400 Scottish jobs.
That is the kind of leader I respect. That is the kind of leader who should be leading an independent Scotland.