C-raab-it

You’ve really got to shake your head sometimes at the sheer brass neck displayed by the harbingers of the final vestiges of a long irrelevant empire, the self destructive UK government.

Raab C Brexit, the archetypal satirical Tory, drafted in to start ramping up the intensity of insults being hurled at the European Union and rouse a Daily Hate Mail rabble, (now that the incompetent David Davis has jumped ship lest he gets the absolute blame for the upcoming economic catastrophe, citing a bad case of galloping verrucas as his excuse) is still threatening the largest tariff free trading bloc in existence, despite having his leash yanked back.

Yet again the EU are being warned that if they don’t agree to the UK’s demands Britain will renege on the financial commitments associated with its divorce from Europe.

Bizarrely, and almost quicker than his arrival at the top of the wild lunatic Brexit school of charm, decorum and negotiation, his leader, Theresa May, has punted Raab off to the one side, banished to an immediate future checking that stockpiles of pot noodles, crispy pancakes and frozen peas are up to the task of feeding a country for a month or two next spring, until the Red Cross helicopters arrive (heaven forbid they put him in charge of stockpiling drugs for cancer treatment, blood supplies and vaccines).

It seems that Theresa has decided that it’s time to deploy the big guns in the cut and thrust of negotiations with Europe. She’s drafting in herself.

Those razor sharp, quick-witted, think-and-adjust-quickly on her feet communication skills that she has demonstrated over the last few years, particularly during her snappily called ‘strong’ and ‘stable’ General Election are set for a workout. Look out Mr EU negotiator, you’re in trouble now!

Alongside her the PM will give an enhanced role to her Downing Street EU Unit, headed up by a bloke who surely has the name and the face of an Armando Iannucci comedy creation, Olly Robbins.

Getting back to Whitehall’s style of winning friends and influencing people it is maybe worth reminding the UK government that it is them who are taking the countries of the UK out of the European Union, two of whom against their democratic will, on the strength of an advisory referendum based on poor contextual information. The EU is not forcing them to do so.

The EU’s attitude to all of this small- man-syndrome empire bluster and pish is simple……

Thanks very much for your friendship for all these years, we enjoyed working and trading with you. Before you go can we work out a plan for you to clear up a few of your outstanding bills as you leave, a deal for how you treat our citizens in your country and how we treat yours in ours who hanker after a real English breakfast, oh, and a safeguard border policy which doesn’t disadvantage our member, Ireland, as a result of your isolationism? Apart from all that Bon voyage, all the very best, we wish you well, you are still on the Christmas card list, and be careful of that last step on the way out the door, it’s a bit loose.

P.S Watch out for the big orangey-faced touchy-feely shouty guy if he offers you a deal. We think he’s a bit strange and may not be trustworthy…….

Seeing past all the puffed up posturing the UK is not going to get a preferential trading deal. This would compromise the foundations of the EU and de-stabilise its members. The UK threatening them with not paying their debts won’t change that.

Meanwhile in Scotland the propaganda campaign, ably carried out by the British state’s media, to convince us that laws made in the parliament of our country are not really laws because they are subordinate to, and able to be over-ridden by, the government of our larger neighbour who rule us, continues in the Supreme Court.

Time to go folks. Dissolve the Union. The people of Scotland are sovereign. It’s time they were heard loudly and clearly above the din of the pro-British nationalist propaganda.