Sleekit

Ye’ know it’s mair about the way that they do it, rather than about what they do, that irks. Me, I’ve personally nae problem wae the wee wummin who lives amongst unimaginable wealth and privilege at the end of the Mall in London.

On  a human level the wee sowel is a guid age, 95, has very recently lost her man, her family are a worry, and she surely, in all her long years of relationships with leaders of her government, cannae have seen a much bigger dunderheided numpty than Boris Johnson.

Naw, I’ve nae problem wae her, other than I don’t believe in the bizarre institution of hereditary monarchy, and the unimaginable wealth and privilege aspect to it, but that isnae her fault.

No, my problem is the way that the media arm of the establishment which requires this outdated archaic hierarchy to continue,to ensure that they remain in clover themselves, thinks the rest of us are just mug punters, easily taken in with any auld nonsense they want to spout at us.

There’s been a lot of talk this week (because guess what,most people spotted it) about a strange new phenomenon we’re all supposed to know about, and have ingrained in our minds as a long-standing tradition. 

Ye know like we think that the weather’s getting a wee bit better, so it must be nearly time for the Grand National, we’re heading intae summer and it’s raining on a Saturday, must be Cup Final day at Hampden, the weather man says it’s tooterin it doon fae the heavens in the south-east of England, so Wimbledon cannae be far away, that kinda thing.

Yes, I’m talking about something “known in Scotland as Holyrood Week or Royal Week”. Known by whom? I’ve never heard of it. Have you? The National Newspaper even phoned Buckingham Palace switchboard to ask about it, and they’d never heard of it either.

It appears,according to state propaganda, that it’s been a tradition for years, and as the BBC news site keeps repeating to the point of boak -inducing brainwashing,“Holyrood Week usually takes place each summer as the Queen and members of her family undertake visits across Scotland, celebrating Scottish community, innovation and history.” So there ye go, now we know.

That clears it up. The sudden appearance of a tradition that everybody in Scotland knows about and cherishes, even though we don’t actually know that we know about it, or even that we cherish it.

Clearly, if you believe the hype this traditional royal working week is nothing to do with trying to bedazzle the peasants as part of the rubber-puppet-satirists dream, Michael Gove’s, ramped up playing of the royal card to try to somehow dilute support for independence. 

Nor is it about using a week of one of the Royal’s annual jollies to Balmoral and Holyrood Palace, (where they get to dress up in kilts, brogues and funny hats, and swagger around carrying expensive walking sticks so that they blend in to look just like the rest of us) as a political weapon. 

Nor could you construe these time honoured traditional ‘Holyrood Week” demonstrations of affection for their northern subjects to be connected in any way to the fact that in Covid-free times the Royal entourage have got to fit in the odd garden party, factory visit or appearance at a Highland Games anyway between the pertying, whisky snorting and blowing the wildlife of our countryside to bits,to at least make it look, at least on the surface, like they are not just here for the free venison and teacakes.

No, we must doff our grimy caps, and take all that the loving arms of the BBC and the right-wing media tell us at face value. 

I must admit seeing Elizabeth the First and her grandson, the heir to the heir of the throne, visiting a Baa Bru factory the other day really rocked my faith in a future where the people of Scotland get to make their own decisions about their governance. I nearly chucked it .Aye right!

Button up the back we don’t. Independence is normal. Being governed by another country is not.