There’s something in the water

Oh the banter. Clearly as the nights have been fair drawing in somebody somewhere has made a huge mistake and left the pantry windae open in the auld manse, letting the minor, now irrelevant voices of unionism, still in their warm, tightly reinforced, cotton cross-armed jammies, oot, and by the looks of it they are growing in number. 

Mibbees they could form their own break-away fringe party called the interventionists or something, as it seems to be a rising trend gaining momentum as the polls continue to reflect that the people of Scotland are now becoming clearer in greater numbers about their own country’s ability to govern itself more effectively than another country which puts its own interests first, on all occasions. 

Having been quiet since he had tae chuck in the tax free expenses gig of the House of Lords after a ‘minor’ indiscretion…cough…knowing about Cyril Smith’s heinous behaviour whilst the leader of the Liberals but doing heehaw about it, former housewives choice of the 1970’s and 80’s (my Mam liked him, and she was Labour when Labour was Labour) David Steel, yet another son of  the manse it seems, the former presiding officer of the Holyrood chamber, has staged an intervention and poked his neb in on the constitutional question, vaguely along the same lines as our serial intervener (for the first time every time) Gordy Broon, advocating this weird and wonderful concept that absolutely nobody wants, not the various regions of England, not the countries of union, not wee Tam in Bothkennar, or Trevor in Didsbury, or Denise fae the Rhonda Valley, the entirely unworkable federalism. Naebody wants it, amongst the electorate of the UK It has the backing of the middle of a doughnut (zero), it won’t work.

He didnae get tae where he is today without being fly when it comes to trying to sweeten the deal though old David, so bearing in mind he’s not got a vested interest in being part of the cushiest club in the parish anymore he’s suggesting like many alleged former progressives before him (way back in time) that the Palace of Westminster’s second chamber is abolished (yawn) in favour of a second chamber of actual worthy folk as opposed to sycophants, the rewarded force services to the establishment, the hereditarily privileged, and bra manufacturers. 

All of this, reckons Steel, will clearly influence the many thousands of normally ordinary (in his mind) servile supplicants of the blessed mother England, whose loving arms provide an enduring embrace (like a giant anaconda wrapped roon yer airm) back into the fold, and Westminster can shut the gate on independence behind them. How delusional can former British politicians get?

Then in the spirit of ‘there’s nae show without punch’ out of the crypt came the repetitive Gordy himself to insist that if there was another independence referendum the people of Scotland would vote again to remain in the UK, branding the SNP as “out of touch” for even thinking about straying away from the Borg. I’ll take a pint of whatever it is he’s drinking! The sky is clearly purple in his world. 

Clearly there is something in the water right now because right in the middle of all of this interventionista nonsense the historian who isnae actually a historian, the man who once described many thousands of ordinary human beings with perfectly reasonable political beliefs, whose only crime in his eyes is that they believe in the entirely normal proposition that their country should govern itself as a ‘cancer’, Neil Oliver, has mentioned in an interview that Scotland returning to being an independent country would infringe on his human rights as a British citizen! Wow, that rough Neil. We’d better just cancel the whole thing then eh. 

As the bloke that once described the miserable circumstances surrounding the Highland Clearances as  “They left their windswept crofts behind looking for adventure and the promised land” maybe, just maybe, if the idea of being from a  medium sized progressive outward looking Northern European country governed by democratically elected representatives entirely focussed on, and accountable to, the people of Scotland, makes him baulk about his rights then perhaps the country of his birth is not his ‘promised land” (other products are available). 

Out of touch doesn’t get anywhere near covering anything these folk have to say. To them it appears the sea change transformation in Scotland’s cultural and political self belief of the first part of the 21st century didn’t happen. Mental. 

Always remember folks self-government is normal, being governed by another country, from another country, is not. 

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