Doing the business

That’s the second round of negotiations now in play for the financial circus of the century, Brexit, and David Davis, as usual, is frighteningly off the pace.

Formerly known as the Minister for Exiting the EU, he is now just simply the Minister for Exiting following his sharp retreat from Brussels on day one of the four day talks.

With less than an hour’s exposure to Monsieur Barnier and his team apparently not because he had to dash back to Westminster to vote on behalf of his flimsily held together slim majority government, he left his negotiating team, THE CHAPS, who are there mob handed, constituting more than double in number the team of European negotiators, who just keep pointing, laughing and counting out loud in Esperanto every time yet another British bureaucrat enters the room, to iron out the very simple, almost mundane, task of extricating good old Blighty from the clutches of evil Europa.

In and out like a DUP representative in a hoody picking up a suitcase of tenners at the fire exit of the Treasury building. He wasn’t even there long enough this time for Michel Barnier to hand him a leash and a plastic bag, and ask him to accompany his pet poodle Claudette, out into the carpark for a comfort break, or for the EU’s third assistant undersecretary for administrative affairs to crawl under the table and tie his shoelaces together. So much for entente cordiale.

Could they not just have had a video link up between the two lead figures? Much cheaper than a first class air-ticket for an hour’s visit. There’s that money tree, of your money, that doesn’t exist for the NHS, emergency and public services, shedding some leaves again.

Social media is having oodles of fun about the press photos of the brief meet and greet of Davis with the French chief EU negotiator. Barnier, and his team seated at the table armed with files, briefing notes and generally looking fairly businesslike, whilst our hero, and a small contingent of THE CHAPS, on the other side, look like they’ve forgotten to bring in their homework.

There’s a simple reason for all this of course, Davis keeps all of his negotiating material and strategies in his encyclopaedic brain, therefore there is no need for him to refer to position papers or charts, or anything of context, statistics, or even facts.

Just go with whatever comes out of your mouth David, that’s clearly the right way to go.

Just like when he appeared before the Commons Select Committee on Brexit, and had no clue or idea about plans for borders, the respective rights of UK and EU citizens, tariffs, outstanding financial commitments, or any of the things that may be considered pretty important when it comes to divorcing a country from the world ‘s biggest free trading bloc, but have no fear, he’s fairly sure that from day one of the new EU-free Great Britain bananas will be of the traditional Daily Mail sponsored kind, and that’s final.

I hope those that voted to give this bunch of cowboys a free hand, including those in Scotland whose livelihoods depend on farming and fishing, don’t live to regret their decision. I fear the worst.

A swatch at the Scottish government’s document ‘ Scotland’s place in Europe’ anyone? Seriously.


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