Like snaw aff a dry stane dyke in April the nine months of intransigence, stubbornness and basically just plain auld disrespect of the democratic will of the people of Scotland by the arrogant leader of the British State’s political arm is set to spectacularly disappear and be forgotten about today during the late late late late show, or as it will otherwise be known, the Prime Minister’s visit to Scotland.
To the sounds of the dying chorus of ‘Ode to Joy’ the anthem of the European Union, and set to fire the starting pistol on Wednesday on a process that should be musically accompanied by the Benny Hill theme tune, Theresa May is heading north to tell Scotland that she loves us with all her heart and soul.
If you believe anything that comes out of her mouth whilst she expounds forth her hot gas filled theory of union to a carefully controlled audience behind closed doors, as many of her tory predecessors have done previously whilst visiting Scotland, I can’t think why, you may want to consider buying shares in Betamax. I’ll sell you some.
Whatever she says, whatever she offers, whatever she tries to do to slither around Nicola Sturgeon, it’s all going to be just politicking. She is coming to Scotland so that she, her band of Westminster Europhobes, and their Scottish acolytes (and that includes crystal clear Kez the handmaiden of Gordyian Federalism) can say that she offered to negotiate with the SNP, who aren’t Scotland by the way, but Nicola Sturgeon, who doesn’t speak for Scotland, refused, preferring to stick with her obsessional obsession of independence. Did we mention she doesn’t speak for Scotland?
It’s all just a political manoeuvre. There’ll be ProdScotbut memes and blogs all over the unionnet by sundown about their courageous leader valiantly making last ditch attempts to save their precious Union but that wee Sturgeon, SHE SPEAKS NOT IN OUR NAME, is determined to create uncertainty and chaos during the Union’s finest hour, un-straightening bananas, re introducing the shilling and workhouses, sinking the French fleet, and retaking the Suez Canal (the fuzzy wusses don’t like it up them Captain Mainwaring).
We’ll hear about May’s brave efforts to make compromise to satisfy those nasty Nats ((who are not Scotland) for the sake of our wonderful equal partnership of nations ad nauseam in the coming months, in the hope that some swing soft voters can be convinced that snake oil does actually make baldy men look like Grizzly Adams.
We’ll hear how the uncertainty of an independence referendum will weaken the UK’s otherwise excellent (ooft) bargaining position in the upcoming Brexit negotiations. When a bunch of EU Commissioners start laughing and pointing at the London negotiating team it’ll somehow be Scotland’s fault.
In typical Orwellian doublethink/ doublespeak style Theresa May is set to say the following to her hermetically cleansed and sealed audience in Scotland….
” A more united nation means working actively to bring people and communities together by promoting policies which support integration and social cohesion. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland that means fully respecting, and indeed strengthening, the devolution settlement, but never allowing our Union to become looser or weaker, or our people to drift apart.”
If she was being honest, truly frank and upfront about the reality of her precious Union she would instead say something along the following lines.
‘ A more subjugated and malleable nation means working actively to undermine progressive citizenship, communities and organised activism, by promoting policies which bolster and support the fear and suspicion of immigrants and minority groups, and which demonise the unemployed, underwaged and vulnerable. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland that means maintaining the outward appearance of respect for the devolution settlement of these regions of our country, whilst quietly undermining and chipping away at their foundations, but never ever allowing our British State control over the assets and resources of these regions to slip, making sure we keep a tight noose around the neck of any groups or political movements who would put our sovereignty and privileged way of life in danger.
It’s all just politicking. Scotland’s people really don’t matter. It’s what you’ve got that they are after. They are weak without that.