‘And that consequently….’

The word on the street, reported by Commonspace, is that First Minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon has called a snap press conference for this morning at Bute Hoose. The purpose of which ken we do not know.

Intriguing stuff on the day when her arch Nemesis, the black-watch-tartan-suited Praying Mantis marauds around Westminster hounding back-benchers and whips, casting hard edged stares at bleary-eyed gin sodden former socialists, daring them to defy her, and chucking paper aeroplanes with the word ‘ Bolshevik’ scribbled across their wings at Jeremy Corbyn, as she strives to run the UK at warp speed head on into a solid brick wall sometime between now and Friday.

What is afoot? Is this possibly the first of perhaps two such media briefings this week? Is the First Minister taking one last chance to set out how reasonable her government has been with regards to trying to accommodate Brexit, whilst at the same time respecting and protecting the democratic will of the people of Scotland?

Will she highlight, yet again, the various promises and commitments the Westminster government have made, and as yet not kept, to include devolved parliaments in the decision making process for exiting the European Union? Will she point out the opportunities that have been available to the London government to include Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland in the process which have been squandered? Sitting twiddling one’s thumbs at pointless meetings with a dearth of engagement doesn’t quite cut the mustard.

Is she perhaps about to make a final statement offering London one last chance to come to terms with regards to the Scottish government seeking a separate deal for Scotland, maintaining access to the EU single market?

Has she, at last, had some sort of response to December’s proposal document ‘Scotland’s place in Europe’ that she wants to share with us?

Is she planning perhaps, in an effort to make her government’s view, and the view of the majority of the people of Scotlan on Brexit, more clear, to use a visual aid, addressing the press pack whilst a large screen behind her plays clips of Mack Sennett silent movies in a loop?

These would be the Keystone Studio movies from the golden age where steam trains driven by fiendish sniggering Boris clones would hurtle towards damsels tied to the rail track, before being ultimately foiled by Harold Lloyd or ‘The Tramp’ stepping across the line and changing the points by kicking them over with an outsized toeless boot in the very instant before the train squishes the damsel, sending the villain and steaming locomotive head on in to the wall of a huge wooden building which collapses sending flying debris in all directions? That one would make sense, and be somewhat accurate.

Or is she laying the groundwork for later in the week, once the jingoism, false confidence with nothing to be confident about, and the call of red, white and blue nationalism, to pull together to make it all work, once the trigger has been pulled on Article 50, is over, and the consequences are starting to become just a wee tad clearer? Is today a precursor to when she’ll have to name the proposed timescale for the forthcoming decisive poll of the people of Scotland?

I know for sure that she isn’t calling a press conference to let the Scottish and UK public know that, following the three unionist branch office spring conferences in the last few weeks, she has decided it is all too hard and we should just chuck it and join the Empire 2.0 project. Kez, Ruthie and wee Wullie being the formidable opponents that they are.,Save us! Nah, it’s definitely not that.

In all the pride, pomp and nationalism this week the Tories might get a wee bit sentimental about the good old days of spam and treacle pudding, polio, rickets and artificial lungs.

They’ll remember these words…..” I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently……… ” Sober and serious words for a dreadful time, a time which hopefully will never return again. However words like these may well be used in a very different context soon by the democratically elected First Minister of Scotland.


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