Fresh from a bout of plastic surgery to reset his fizzer, he’s back on the scene to enthral us all with his Solomon-like wisdom once again.
Following the traumatic and painful reflex change of facial expression experienced during the State broadcaster’s showpiece debating programme Question Time last week, when a wee wummin in the audience recounted a story of big hairy Langholm fermers at the rugby in Paris, a story which initially generated a superior smug expression on the Secretary of State for Scotland’s coupon, as an image flashed through his mind of happy days sipping Pimms-over-ice on long summer evenings at the Scottish Borders Young Conservatives and Hairy Fermers Association, only to rapidly turn into a twisted visage of horror, like he’d swallyed a particularly radge wasp on crack, when the wee wummin went on to tell him that the big hairy fermers, who had all voted a resounding NO in 2014, had declared that henceforth It will be independence all the way for them, and the Union can get tae………… places where big hairy fermers will no longer go, he’s back.
Whilst his Lordess and Mastress is hanging about the other chamber of the Palace of Westminster like a bad smell, sitting in on the House of Lords debate on triggering Article 50, pointing at infirm Tory peers, doing the intimidating two fingered hand movement towards her eyes thing to suggest ‘ I’m watching you”, throwing chewed up scrunched and sticky pages from “Scotland’s Place in Europe” at doddering champage socialist cloak wearers, the ones in wakefulness, and trying not to awaken the rest by speaking too loudly, Lord Mundell to be is doing Theresa May’s bidding once more.
In a well leaked leak of the leaky variety of an address to Scottish politicians coming up this week at Holyrood the Fluffmeister has made it clear that we should all just call it a day on this separatist lark because as far as he sees it there is absolutely no chance, no chance at all, that Scotland, either still in his beloved Union, or as a Third World disaster of a separate tin pot one party dictatorship, will be part of the European Union. In his view things are as they were before the 2014 referendum for Indy folks. If we get what we want, an independent Scotland, we won’t be in Europe, and will have to wait years to get in if we seek to join, according to yet another “think-tank” report he’s going to hang his hat on. This after the entire Unionist mainstream media decided to semi-quote Jacqueline Minor, the European Commission’s retiring UK representative, a couple of weeks ago, to suggest that Scotland would need to join a ‘list’ of countries trying to get into the EU, but didn’t report that she also said “unlike other countries Scotland would already meet much of the criteria for membership.”
Now, as far as I’m aware, during this long range Cat and tartan-suited Praying Mantis game that First Minister Nicola Sturgeon and Theresa the Appeaser have been playing now since the then newly minted UK Prime Minister made Bute House one of her first ports of call, nothing official has come out of Downing Street, or as a result of these Joint Ministerial Committee meetings that the leaders of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland roll up to on a regular basis to sit and twiddle their thumbs at for a couple of hours whilst Theresa May shows them presentations of plans for the New Tower-Bridge Trump Casino, Chicken Ranch and Immigration Detention Center Complex (I hate that spelling) to suggest that the alternative proposals worked up and put forward by the Scottish government for a differentiated approach to protect Scotland’s democratic wishes to remain as part of the European single market have officially been rejected, which, as we all know, will result in the canvassing walking shoes coming out of the cupboard.
Is that right, or have I missed something? Are we to learn, in this unofficial way, and from HIM, that yes, our opinion means nothing, the middle of a doughnut? Is this how much Scotland is really valued? Is this all we are getting?
For one thing neither him, nor his government, have any idea what is going to happen with regards to Europe. Negotiations have not started. It won’t be them who will be calling the shots on anything to do with their mad-eyed Little Englander approach to removing themselves from the European Union. The European’s want them gone now, and as the latest quote from EU Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker suggests, the European Union is gonnae hold them to financial commitments they have made, whether they bolt or not, so watch that space closely. For Mundell to suggest that he knows in advance what the outcome of negotiations between an independent Scotland and the European Union would be is crass headline-craving nonsense. The arrogance of these people has no bounds. The ermine cloak is surely in the post.
Scotland is going to be so much better as an Independent country.