A Pie

imageThis weekend’s “Sunday Politics Scotland” programme sunk to a new low in the art of non-communicative waffle. So much so that it may well have reached the stage that on the occasions where the producers of political and current affairs shows in Scotland require the input of the Westminster government, to enlighten us on their beneficent policies, or to discuss issues of a right wing nature which impact Scotland, they should consider replacing the Secretary of State for Scotland David Mundell in the hot-seat with something more insightful, a bit more useful, and more wholesome, a pie perhaps.

An image of a pie and the phrase “The people of Scotland are very clear that they don’t want another referendum. It would be dreadful, setting Scot against Scot.” looping over and over on a reel at the bottom of the screen in response to an interviewer’s question, any question, would represent a significant improvement on Mundell’s regular informative performances when put in front of the cameras.

The guy clearly recognises the fact that he is considered by the majority of the people of the country he hails from, the one he reckons was absorbed by a bigger country three hundred odd years ago, as a non-entity, being the singular representative of Scottish unionism at Westminster, leading to his lofty ascension to a senior position in government well beyond his capabilities.

However he is more than happy to carry out the one function his boss has set for him, bearing in mind she’s fond of a bit of verbal evasion herself, to run interference on Scottish self-determination, to put a spanner in the works where he can, and never, ever, under any circumstances, give a straight answer or answer a direct question.

Like a spoilt wean in the front passenger seat of his mother’s car turning the car radio dial off-station every time a song he doesn’t like comes on, he knows he’ll get scolded for it, but he doesn’t care because there a gong and an ermine cloak in the post at some time in the not too distant future.

It would be good to see TV producers getting tough on politicians who filibuster and procrastinate their way through interviews. Giving them two shots at answering simple questions then abruptly switching them off and informing the viewing public that the minister refused to answer the question may focus the minds of such chancers a wee bit better.

It makes you wonder what non-independence minded Scots think when they see Mundell’s antics on TV. Do they cringe like us? Do they think he is doing a fine job? Do they look on in astonishment as the beads of sweat drip off his forehead as he waffles the same nonsense over and over again, running down the clock on an interview like a forward with the ball in a football side hugging the corner flag in injury time. You can picture him stepping off camera once the wee light goes off and high-fiving a flunkey who’s been counting him down since the interview commenced, happy that once again he’s managed to avoid saying anything that is likely to further the cause of independence, or anything at all other than the propaganda line of independence bad.

The people of Scotland are not daft. Extended exposure to this guy’s view of Scotland and the world will surely result in more undecided voters swinging towards the cause of self-determination.

It was also interesting to see Gordon Brewer attempting to put him on the spot on what exactly his role will be this week as part of his government’s delegation heading to Brussels for Brexit pre-negotiations with the EU. In response he waffled on a bit about explaining the Brexit strategy to members of the Scottish diaspora and business leaders cough cough….

Aye right. He is only going on the trip because advisors to his leader, the appeaser of extremism, think it will give them something to say in response about the ‘important work’ he’s doing for Scotland when the UK government are rightly criticised for ignoring the democratic wishes of the people of Scotland. He’s going for a wee jolly and a nice lunch. A Belgian biscuit anyone?

Scotland as an independent country could do so much better.


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