The Right Honourable Theresa May, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, the token Scot Mr Mundell, the rest of the tory government, all of your wee pixie pals from across the chamber in red, that other lot, what’s left of them, the scary xenophobic American Ambassador in waiting, who, although not a member,
likes to hang out with politicians between appearances on BBC’s Question Time, and the unelected freeloading, expenses hoovering, mob in ermine cloaks,
The Palace of Westminster,
Westminster, SW1A, London (Innit great, innit vibrant).
Dear beneficiaries of privilege
Sometime soon the utter mince that you have been ripping out of the people of Scotland is going to stop.
You’ve had our oil and gas, you’ve traded off our fishing industry, significantly depleting stocks in the 1980’s and 90’s, for concessions and European funding which benefited London, you’ve destroyed just about all of our industries (apart from the limited remaining maritime engineering sector you keep going so you can use it to threaten us every time you need to spend obscene amounts of public money to retain some sort of notion that you still are a major world power) you are hoovering up massive export tax revenues from our whisky, which you’ve done for many years, you pulled a swifty, you, and your red act-a-likes, half-inching some of our maritime seabed by changing the boundaries of Scotland’s waters in the days and hours before devolution, you and some of your foreign pals (the ones you like, the rich ones) around 525 of you, make sure that you retain ownership of half the private land in Scotland, you’ve well and truly pulled the rug out from under our renewable energy projects, you’ve taken us out of the biggest neighbouring market for our remaining traders, you’ve made the rest of Europe think we are all a bunch of racists, you’ve ridiculed, and for the most part ignored, just about the entire democratically selected membership of your elected chamber who hail from Scottish constituencies, booing the very mention of the words St Andrew’s Day, you’ve decimated our armed forces, turning previously thriving communities which supported the services into yet more areas of severe poverty, you tried to do us out of several billion pounds in the Scotland Bill settlement, you’ve lied to the people of the rest of the United Kingdom about Johnny Foreigner and straight bananas, you’ve ensured that a country which does not want anything to do with weapons of mass destruction, and who overwhelmingly voted against them, will continue to have a target on it’s back and no choice in the decision to park these monstrous instruments of mass murder within shouting distance of half the population of Scotland, but miles and miles, and miles away from you, you are going to lock us in to the extremely difficult challenge of maintaining an ageing population with little prospect of economic growth, as expertise and talent from outside your isolationist borders, who would be paying tax to help pay for increased pressure on public services, won’t be allowed to come and work here, and to make matters worse you’ve told us not to worry because David Davis is just a phone call away….
… Aye, that’s us, too wee, too poor and too stupid. The only country in the world that couldn’t possibly govern itself. Aye right. Get out of the way.
The people of Scotland.