The UK State Broadcaster Question Time Audience Shortlist Questionnaire.
Q1. What colour is the sky in your world?
A. Red White and Blue. B. Red and White. C. No specific colour.
Q2. Which of the following do you read regularly?
A. The Daily Mail. B. The Daily Express. C. The Daily Telegraph. D. A newspaper.
Q3. Complete the following phrase “Britain….
A. First”. B. is full” . C.fills me with pride”. D. thrives on oven ready chips”.
Q4. Are you Scottish?
A. Yes. B. No. C. Don’t know. D. Don’t care.
Q5. If you have admitted that you are Scottish do you possess an orange jacket?
A. Yes. B. No. C. I hire one for functions.
Q6. Can we provide you with one?
A. Yes please. B. Yes please. C. No thanks, I prefer my own. D. No.
Thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. Your responses will be evaluated, and you will be notified in due course as to whether you meet our very high standards in the selection of audience members.
These high standards are in place to ensure a broad range of views are expressed, and helps us to continue to provide a fair, equitable and impartial broadcasting service to our glorious city state, and the southern garden of England, Birmingham, Manchester, Wales, and some regions up north, and that god forsaken place where it rains all the time and they do nothing but moan, which is fine, because we can’t understand their accents anyway.