An Alternative Universe

In the twilight zone inhabited by much of the media in Scotland, a universe where they would have preferred that the two years leading up to September 2014, and the two years since, never happened, the choice of Ruth Davidson as Politician of the Year, as sponsored by The Herald, fits in nicely with the natural order of things. After all they can’t keep giving it to pro-independence types, and it was never going to be ‘Kez’ this year now, was it?

The fawning write up on the political awards night in The Herald would have you believe that the aforementioned Ruth has made some sort of heroic stand against the horde of xenophobic, brave new order, righter-than right-wing Brexiteerian potential Mosleyites currently inhabiting the benches marked ‘The government’ at Westminster, her party.

You’d think she’d swooped in on the back of her winged coo with horns, or smashed her Challenger Tank through the gates at Downing Street to put them to the sword on such issues as the ‘Is it safe policy’, the one where large border guards from Britain First hold down refugee youths in a chair whilst Laurence Olivier’s ghost takes a set of dental forceps tae their gubs to check if they are under 18,

Or perhaps she deserves plaudits for the outstandingly fair, selfless and magnanimous effort she put in, following the people of the country where she ultimately wants to serve in politics voting to take the people of the country she comes from out of a union they don’t want to leave, when she joined with the rest of us to let Westminster know that the people of Scotland have a democratic right to call a second referendum in these circumstances.

Aye right! Ten minutes after the night of the long knives, when the Tories had a post Brexit vote ‘reshuffle’ (the one with the least knives in their back at the end is the winner) she was soundly behind the No referendum for Scotland, get on with the day job Nicola, Brexit means Brexit gang, and has been ever since, having established herself as a darling of the right, cringing her way through the Tory Conference, or rally,as they may soon be calling it. Ruth has got mair faces than the toon clock.

Probably more of an affront to reality, and the people of Scotland, is the choice of David Mundell as ‘Best Scot at Westminster’ for ‘steering the Scotland Bill through the Commons and helping to put together the fiscal framework that accompanies it.’ It might have been appropriate to have that award sponsored by The Trussell Trust.

This guy is only in the job of Secretary of State for Scotland because he is the only Tory, singular, that the people of Scotland elected to represent them at Westminster. That success was only achieved because the Tories flung a queens ransom at his election campaign, spending three times more than his opponents put together.

David Mundell is it. He is their only choice. If there were more of them, God forbid, he wouldnae be trusted with putting the kettle on, never mind being the mouthpiece for his party’s cruel and heartless policies in a country that doesn’t vote for them. Scarily David Mundell is Scotland’s highest ranking politician, and can’t be trusted to do anything, anything at all in Scotland’s interests.

An award for steering the Scotland Bill through the Commons? If John Swinney and his team hadn’t played hardball during the settlement negotiations Mr Mundell and his party would have robbed the country he purports to represent of 7.5 Billion pounds worth of future public service funding.

An alternative universe indeed.


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