An interesting little piece from the the Hootsman today, a newspaper which clearly must be scraping the bottom of the bottom of the barrel’s erse to feed their ever dwindling readership, on the progress of Mr Charles Windsor’s planned eco-friendly village in East Ayrshire ‘Knockroon’. I must admit I thought April 1st had came round helluva quickly again whilst I was reading it, but no it’s genuine.

Apparently after submitting an FOI request the paper has discovered that there has been much sweating, wailing and gnashing of teeth in municipal chambers as a panel of cooncilliors, community cooncillors, a couple of jannies, the lassie fae the chippy across the road and some passers-by, try to decide which one amongst them will volunteer to jump under the future prospects of a gong bus, and tell Mr W that his choices for street names for the new village are gash.

I cannae knock the fella’s good intentions when it comes to the environment, Good on him for that. In fact I’m kind of hoping that when he gets his shot at wearing the big golden hat, in the big golden chair, that he takes his values regarding all of that stuff with him, and sticks his neb in a bit more.

The Hootsman however reckon they have exposed a couple of gems. Apparently the mentioning of certain colours in the naming of streets in the central belt, as Charles did, may just be slightly inflammatory to certain groups. What a scoop. Who would have thought it?

What is probably more revealing though about how a member of the British royal family views Scotland, (you know the script, kilts and walking sticks everywhere, tartan car rugs in the back of the Range Rover, shortbread tins, Walter Scott, and peasants in the fields doffing their Tam O Shanters as you pass) was his choice of what he thought were appropriate Scottish sounding street names, mainly associated with literature. ‘Wandering Willie’s Wynd’ being just one example.

The ‘cringe’ meets squirmy kitsch indeed,

If that’s the standard on offer here’s a couple of other suggestions for the panel ‘Scots should think very carefully about the future Crescent’ and ‘Kilty Kilty Cauldbum Avenue’.


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