The Hunt For Greggs Is Over

The sight of Sean Connery in a Russian naval uniform, looking stern and commanding in the dim light of a submarine, “shaling into shishtory” whilst wearing a silver rug that wouldn’t look out of place on the napper of one Donald John Trumpet, is eminently more believable than the ‘reds under the bed’ story doing the rounds in the media, most recently covered by the Hootsmon, about the Russian news agency ‘Sputnik’ opening up an office in Edinburgh.

It is indeed a slow news week, but, never fear, this will undoubtedly change on Wednesday when we get skelped around the head from several directions with some scary stats and figures from the GERS report-card.

However, we’ll humour them. Apparently, say our unionist media writers, and a wheeled in on a skateboard ex-high-heid-yin of the military variety, plugging a work of fiction he’s quilled about the right scary possibilities of legions of stern faced,high cheek boned, grey uniformed vladimirs,waving massive red banners, marching down Princes Street, on their way to Greggs, this is the thin end of the wedge.

According to various trusty protectors of Britannic values these pesky Russians are here to distort facts and present biased viewpoints. According to one report, the news agency’s UK Director was quoted as saying ” In my three years at Sputnik no one ever called me from Moscow telling me what to say”…Eureka! Where have we heard that one before?

I’m pretty sure those of us who are committed to self-determination for Scotland are already fairly familiar with distortion of facts and bias in news reporting, that is, unless you’ve been living in a cave for several years, so I can’t see a Russian news agency moving into Edinburgh being too much of a problem. On a positive note it seems they’ve given a few Scottish journalists a job.

Anyway, watch out for the unionist media, and their trolling division, shortly telling us all on a regular basis that we only believe in independence for Scotland because the Russian state media are manipulating us, in a dastardly plot to break up the great and wondrous all-embracing Union.

Oh, by the way, I believe I may have read somewhere that the BBC has had a Moscow bureau in place since 1963.


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