Please, please, can a celestial being of some sort save us from the rantings of the increasingly bewildering, and just plain nasty, Scottish Daily Depress, or as it perhaps should be re-named, the Daily ‘Furious’?

First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, according to their weekend headline,has been branded  a “coward”, a powerful accusation indeed.

The First Minister has attracted this significant ire as a result of an alleged hideous plot she has hatched to hide the forthcoming earth-shattering GERS financial report-card (which will undoubtedly prove beyond any shadow of a doubt,for once and for all, that Scotland is indeed the only country in the world entirely incapable of governing itself) so that it gets reported during the summer recess of the Scottish Parliament.

This heinous act, according to the protector of the Union, will save her from close scrutiny, public accountability and a huge verbal ‘doing’ from opposition leaders in parliament. Yup, I’m sure the prospect of that last one will really have her worried.

This whilst the leader of the main British unionist party’s local branch office, who, whilst campaigning in the run-up to various elections or referenda doesn’t like to visually advertise the party she represents because it puts off voters in Scotland, seems to have changed her tune on the Brexit result.

We’ve gone from  a concerned ” Scotland must be part of Brexit talks and cannot be a bolt-on” in July, to yesterday, it’s now all about “17 million people can’t be ignored” and “everyone must work to make the best of the opportunity (Brexit)”.

Now that the dust has settled a wee bit, the Tories have finished with their night of the long knives, and career paths are visible again it would appear, surprise surprise, that she has no interest in the fact that 62% of the voters of her country, the country where it is theoretically possible that she could be First Minister, voted to remain in the EU.

At the other mob’s branch office, their titular head is planning on a period of hiding under the bed this week, having sauntered back from a leisurely sojourn in the USA, where she was learning how to be a leader, lest she come across her boss, Jeremy Corbyn, whilst he’s up on a visit to Scotland during his party’s leadership hustings.

It would surely be an absolute disaster for her future career prospects to be photographed with such a notorious character. Heaven forbid they should meet. If he was to shake hands with her he may pass on a horrible contagion, actual Labour values.

… And Nicola Sturgeon is a “coward” ? Aye, right.


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