It’s Nice To Have Friends

There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that the recently reported leaked David Cameron Prime Ministerial resignation honours list included the following hand scribbled, then scored through, annotation.

‘Add to list for big shiny gongs…….. Mummy’s friend Claudia from the Bridge Club,cousin Tarquin, Chivers the Head Gamekeeper, some bankers from the Cayman Islands, Pierre the wine waiter at La Goulotte, that scotch woman Moan (oh no scratch that, we’ve already done her), the nice chap who gets us good tickets for Wimbledon, the entire village of Sarehole on the Wold, and the younger of the two Pughs from the Trumpton Fire Service.’

No, definitely no truth in that rumour whatsoever. However there is truth in the fact that good old Dave in leaving the sinking ship just can’t help himself in demonstrating one final time the inbuilt cronyism which is a way of life for these people of power and influence who are considered suitable to govern the rest of us.

A list of 48 of his staff, pals and party financial contributors all lined up to receive a few letters after their name, some tin on a pin after a nice chat with the old lady of London, yet more access to influence, and in the case of those destined for the ermine cloak a real dodgy sounding title, a nice little earner and a smoother route to a few non-executive corporate boardrooms, just to supplement the pension.

It’s nice to see Ian Taylor, the oil company CEO who bunged the Belters Together campaign during Indy 1 more than 500k, which apparently helped them make some videos of celebrities and cereal eaters telling us all how important it is to listen to what celebrities and cereal eaters have to tell us, is up for a knighthood, He’ll be amongst friends no doubt.

Another nice touch from Dave is lining the ‘stylist’ he employed to advise his Mrs on hairstyles, what colours would be appropriate to wear for springtime in the south of France, and to show her how to zip up a suitcase, for an OBE. You’d have thought employing her on 60 grand of tax payers money per annum for a four day week would have been reward enough, but there you go. Well done Dave.

The unelected House of Lords, packed to the gunnels with those who have done their very best to ensure that they’ve toadied, erse-licked and stilettoed between the shoulder blades anyone of influence they needed to to get where they are today, where some of Dave’s nominations are headed, has reached the stage where the fluffy dressed stewards are having to heave the doors shut before every session to get all of the snoring buggers in. There’s over 800 of them (there’s only 650 MP’s in the Commons) at a cost of approximately 20 million pounds of your cash every year just in attendance money, that’s not counting the other 70 odd million spent to pay their administrative staff, maintain the museum they snuggle up in and the extensive lunch and wine menu of course, again subsidised by you.

Independence anyone?


One thought on “It’s Nice To Have Friends


    Let’s hope Dave, “I can call you Dave, huh?”, let’s hope Dave isn’t too distraught at the sheer insolence of this mob in preventing him giving a gong for a bung. It must’ve been a big f……..n’ gong to cover the big f………n’ £4million quid bung.
    You get the feeling we’re all in this together? Aye, me neither.


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