Picture, if you will,the scene at the Scottish Tory Conference at Murrayfield ,amongst the young polished Flash Harrys ensuring that they meet with their party’s recently re-affirmed main key principle, (wearing an expensive Savile Row suit) the jaggy tweed, the union flag lapel badges, canapés, sensible shoes and tartan car rugs.
I hope they are holding it in a conference room as I suspect the stadium itself might just be a wee tad too big for the audience.
Up pops jolly old Dave from London, eager to sample the fine air with his shooting companions, nipping in for a quick chat to the faithful, a few deep and meaningful sound-bytes for the adoring state media, and a spot of luncheon, before scaring the living daylights out of the local wildlife whilst guzzling hip-flasks of some rather nice “Scotch” ben his thrapple.
His utterances on Scottish politics for good old Auntie Beeb are comedy gold. The SNP ( baddites) are now the “establishment” according to Dave, and Scotland is “in danger of becoming a one- party state” because New Labour’s local branch are honking.
Who would have thought it?
I’m confused. Maybe us Scots have a limited understanding of the word “establishment”? Yes, that must be it.
This is perhaps the manifestation of one of those mind block issues we all have once in a while with the use of certain words.
For example, although I know my understanding is wrong, I always instinctively think the word indefinite means forever, (Kind of like how long it will take the people of the British Isles to forget Dave’s fondness for pork fillets).
Anyway, giving Dave the benefit of doubt, let’s examine what it means to be the establishment and how the First Minister of Scotland (and ChairHen of this supposed one party state) Nicola Sturgeon and her colleagues measure up to that image.
1. Do the SNP have the full and unquestioning backing of the corporate giants,high flyers, business moguls and successful bra pusher-uppers of the country, all of whom who lobby them and throw large bundles of cash at them for various business and personal favours, as well as tax breaks?
2. Do the SNP have a cosy relationship with the judiciary, who protect them from real justice and the outcomes of serious inquiries into such heinous crimes as illegal wars and interventions into foreign countries when the UN tells them not to?
3. Do the SNP intermingle seamlessly with the House of Lords, providing prime freshly director-shipped former parliamentarian candidates for the ermine cloaked snore and expenses fest to sit amongst Lord Campbell of Meatballs and Lady Flora of Inverfearty?
4. Do the SNP control the mainstream media, specifically the state broadcaster and the right wing press ,whilst receiving tacit support from the Scottish broadsheets and the rest?
NAW ! No chance.
Yet seemingly, despite all of these disadvantages, the SNP have maintained power in Scotland for nine years and are about to completely wipe the floor with the opposition yet again in May’s Scottish Government elections.Isn’t democracy wonderful?
Strangely though Dave and his party, and his red colleagues, when in power, tick all of the above boxes.
I don’t know about you but I think it’s probably Dave who doesn’t understand what the word establishment means, not us.
Watch out Dave. Scottish Pigeons don’t scare easy and like to make their presence felt.It can smell a bit and that kind of stain is a bugger to get off a wax jacket old chap.